Monday 29 August 2011

introducing the labyrinth...



labyrinth 1  - pastel and ink

labyrinth 2 - pastel, ink and wool

I have been preoccupied with labyrinth images this week.

The first image is the 'standard image' of a traditional labyrinth design, which I have recently been exploring (as a mindfulness exercise) in a variety of media, including clay and textiles, and which I created for this blog using oil pastels and overlaid with Chinese ink, to get a resist effect. I wanted the background to be black, to represent the internal experience of the labyrinth, but it came out as pale grey.

The second image is the same labyrinth, overlaid with a somewhat haphazard and multi-shaded wool yarn, which loosely tries to follow the path, but which has multiple sidetracks, loops and deviations. As it turns out, this yarn continues into the rest of the ball of wool, so it doesn't actually 'end'...

The first thing that stands out is the contrast between the first and second image. The first is orderly and has its own logical structure, the second is 'all over the place', but loosely follows the same path, or tries to.

The colours (white/red/black) were deliberately chosen. I used white (the path, the blank page, 'innocence', the beginning of life), red (the earth, the body, blood, the middle of life) and black (death, night, darkness, the internal experience), as they seem to link the image to many archetypal experiences. This sounds very deep and esoteric, but its not really.

The path or road goes from the outside to the inside and back again, so it represents the inward journey, and the return to external reality. The wool in the second image represents the busyness, and the meanderings of daily life, as well as the constant distractions provided by thoughts, feelings and the demands of work, life and other people, i.e. the opportunity to be pulled off task by a million other possibilities, which creates a constant tension and challenge, but I guess is also exciting... if it wasn't for this ability to be distracted, I wouldn't have been thinking about and making labyrinths in the first place, for example.

I feel I am usually in the second image, but am constantly striving to be in the first image. In other words, like the image last week, there is a wish for order and structure, which is unrealistic most of the time. Better to go with the flow...

*I also found a relevant quote, in relation to the spiral theme that was emerging in some of my images. Its from a novel called 'Disobedience' by Naomi Alderman, and I have written it out in full, in case it strikes a chord with anyone else as well as it did for me:

What is the shape of time?

On occasion we may feel that time is circular. The seasons approach and retreat, the same every year. Night follows day follows night follows day. The festivals arrive in their time, cycling one after the other. And each month, the womb and the moon together grow fat and fertile, then bleed away, and begin to grow once more. It may seem that time leads us on a circling path, returning us to where we began.

In other moods, we may view time as a straight and infinite line, dizzying in its endlessness. We travel from birth to death, from past to future, and each second which ticks by is gone forever. We talk of managing time, but time manages us, hurrying us along where we might have wished to linger. We can no more halt time than the moon can halt her nightly journey across the sky.

As is so often the case, these two seemingly irreconcilable observations combine to form the truth. Time is spiral.

Our journey through time may be compared to an ascent around the outside of a round tower. We travel, it is true, and can never return tot he places we have left. However, as each revolution brings us higher and further, it asl brings us round to encounter the same vistas we have seen before. ..
Well, its a bit long, but I think it says something about the spiral, and our relationship to time, which is important. As a child, I was so aware of the cycles of nature, and the rituals and changes of the seasons. This faded as I grew up, and life became more linear. I like the idea that the cycles are still there, because the spiral is a 3D structure that is both circular and linear at the same time.

more later.

Sunday 21 August 2011

how to...enjoy your moment in time




'how to...enjoy your moment in time': pastels, paint and collage

This post is taken directly from another (closed) blog I am participating in at the moment, and the directive was to make two images, the one on the left is about thinking "I'm so busy", and the one on the left is about the feeling of being busy.

The left hand image (thinking about 'I'm busy'), which is a mixture of collage and pastels,  is organised, square-ish and wordy. It starts from the middle with the words: "How to..." and a series of verbs from magazines. Busyness is about doing stuff, so verbs seemed to be what I needed. It reflects the anxiety of trying to do things well. It is also about thoughts, and the fact that busyness if often about over-thinking. Do I know "how to..."?

It spirals outwards and reminds me of my previous image. I like the colours and the final result. The outside is different from the text-y area, it is more like the other side.

The spiral is also a motif in the right hand image. The right hand image ('feeling busy') is a swirl of movement using paint, pastels and collage. This is how being busy feels. It is looser and free-er than the first image. It also has a contrast between the inside, the heart/core, and the outside swirls.

In this one, the heart shape contains the words 'your moment in time'. This is a comment about trying to be mindful in day to day busyness, and this experience of mindfulness can be something of an 'anchor' in the whirlwind of activity (like the eye of the storm perhaps). So the heart is anchored by the blue and purple stripes, to stop it getting carried off by the whirlwind. It is also a reminder that we only have a short time on this planet, this is our brief moment, and we can ignore/forget that if we get caught up in mindless activity.

more later.

Monday 15 August 2011

flight of the firstborn


snail shell, embryo or?



'leaving the womb' - pastels, paint and collage

Started life as a scribble but morphed into this. I used very scrappy paper that already had marks on it and I sort of started very casually scribbling at my computer desk (only surface available at the time) with pastels. I then added some paint and finally some torn paper. I notice red is still the dominant colour. This was good fun to do. I particularly enjoyed the textures I created. I see a snail/embryo. I'm glad its ambiguous and can be seen in different ways. It was hard to decide which way up it should go.

I like the outer circle being open whilst still containing. This makes me think of...launching.

I have been thinking a bit about 'launching' this week. Partly due to work, as my tute class was reading '5 messages every adolescent needs to hear', and partly due to an English assignment my younger son is writing, about poems which explore different life stages. This is one of the poems he chose, which resonated strongly with us both. (His older brother went overseas to South America aged just 18.)

Flight of the Firstborn

He streaks past his sixteenth year
small island life stretched tight
across his shoulders
his strides rehearsing city blocks
college brochures
airline schedules
stream excitedly through his
newly competent hands
his goodbyes like blurred neon
on a morning suddenly gone wet

I’m left stranded
on a tiny patch of time
still reaching
to wipe the cereal from his smile
by Peggy Carr


how true
more later

Sunday 14 August 2011

Sunday night in the suburbs


'amoeba-ish' collage, watercolour and pastel

Amoeba-ish is a good description of how I am feeling at the moment. A bit lacking in definition perhaps? Nothing particularly bad and nothing particularly good, sort of in limbo. Sunday nights are often like this, I'm glad its still the weekend but aware that its going to be over soon...

I made this image a while ago. I am noticing there are lots of layers, from the centre (nucleus?) to the outside (water?). Its quite colourful, like a lot of my work. I am very attracted to bright colours, and usually pick them up rather than darker or neutral tones. I feel this is a bit childish and not very sophisticated but oh well. (I'm also noticing those negative thoughts.)

What is really exciting in this corner of the blogosphere, is that due to my last post, I have had over 1,000 hits on this blog since I started in December last year. That's very satisfying, so thanks!

I have just finished Jodie Picoult's novel singing you home. Reading her novels is a bit like immersing yourself in a warm but worthy bath;  they always have an 'issue' at their core, but they are quite compulsive.  This one has a music therapist as the main character, so I really enjoyed that, as creative therapists are not often represented in popular culture (One exception  being the 1980's film Truly, madly deeply, which has an art therapist - albeit a male one, quite a rare species - as the love interest of the main character). The 'issue' is fertility rights, in particular over ownership of the fertilised eggs of a couple who break up. The woman (and music therapist) goes into a relationship with another woman, and the man gets involved with the religious right. You can kind of guess the rest, and yes it does involve a court case (well Picoult is American).

Another brief movie review - go see Red Dog, which we went to last weekend. A nice Australian family film about - a red dog! 

One thing I have noticed about this project, doing what matters. I am becoming more outspoken about my values and beliefs. Not just in the blog, but in real life, too. When I am with people with very different values, it is more jarring than it used to be. Well I think that's true, perhaps it was always jarring, but now I am noticing it more. 

I found out recently (or honestly, not that recently) that I should be meditating twice a day, to have a more solid chance of actually changing my brain (neural pathways) for the better. This seems like a tough thing to do, but I am going to try, starting this week (can't do it today, as I missed this morning's meditation). I think its worth a try. I had a return of insomnia a couple of weeks ago. Its hard to break the pattern once it returns. As its anxiety related, I am guessing meditation can help - already my sleeping patterns are much better than they used to be. Creating the routine is the hard part, I'm usually quite good at keeping on doing things once I start...

more later.




Friday 12 August 2011

London's burning - again - but who is to blame?


neon scribble - Glow draw app. on I-Phone

In 1981, Brixton in London, Toxteth in Liverpool, and many other inner city communities in Britain (not all of them with an 'x' in their names) erupted in alarming outbreaks of rioting, burning and looting by (often) black disenfranchised youth.  When we bought our first home, a small maisonette, in Brixton, in 1985, the first response of some of our friends was: 'But what about the Brixton riots?'.

Well for us, Brixton, was an affordable, lively, multi-cultural community with a great market, independent cinema (Ritzy) and nightclub (Fridge). Yes there was racial tension, and we experienced this first hand in some touchy interactions with one of our neighbours. We represented the young white middle class interlopers (yuppies even), who were encroaching on a previously black community, which, due to the increasing cost of housing in London generally, was now becoming upwardly mobile or 'gentrified'.

Thirty years on, history seems to be repeating itself. Conservative government, riots, burning buildings, anger at 'community policing'. What is also the same, is that the context has to be understood.

I heard an understandably angry shop owner, whose business had been trashed, on ABC  Radio National, calling the rioters 'feral rats', and saying they should all be at home with their mums, and what were their parents thinking? Other recently used terms I have noticed include 'scum' and 'shit'. When we talk like this, we are coming from a place of fear and anger, rather than reason. An understandable response to chaotic circumstances, but not particularly constructive.

Prime Minister David Cameron unhelpfully labels the behaviour as 'criminal' - yes, obviously, but its more than that. Demonising the rioters is not going to solve this. Underlying anger, disadvantage and poverty, and the perception of lack of opportunities to improve personal and social circumstances, are likely causes. Living in cities with huge discrepancies between rich and poor only make this more poignant.

Why are young people so angry? Yesterday I went to training on a parenting program, '123 Magic'. When parents talk about their parenting, they often focus on their 'feral', 'ratbag' kids' bad behaviour, and don't always understand a) their part in the behaviour and b) the underlying causes, which are often emotionally driven. And yet, mysteriously, many parents just want to be 'friends' with their children.

Kids and young people, whether they are 5, 15 or 25, often feel powerless, and this makes them angry. Lack of boundaries, lack of role models, and lack of social activities can exacerbate this. 'Time out', like youth clubs and school holiday programs, are obviously not going to change things overnight, but empathy, clear boundaries from consistent and fair authority figures (police or parents) and practical support, enabling social connection and participation, are surely more effective than negative labelling.


more later.

Monday 8 August 2011

a tree for this life


tree - paint and pastel

this is a celebration of life. 

I've temporarily run out of words. 

Hopefully, more later.

Monday 1 August 2011

finding time


'your inbox has reached its size limit' - paint on paper

The images above and below were created as part of a closed group art therapy blog, for parents of school age children, which one of my students is running. The name of the project is 'finding time', which is very apt for parents, as time seems to be one thing we are always running short of...the first image is about work, and feeling that there is a lot coming into my 'inbox' (or head) at the moment, so it sometimes feels like it is going to burst. I deliberately used a very small square frame for this painting; its only 9cm square. This made it easier for me to paint - less daunting. It also helped create the feeling of compression.

saturday morning - pastels

The second image, a pastel drawing, is about spending relaxed time watching my son play football (and win the league!).

It also makes me reflect on this blog - about finding time to do the things that matter, and also finding time to write the blog itself. I am interested in knowing who finds time to read it as well. Please post a comment if you feel like it, let me know who you are, and why you read this blog. I am hoping to reach 1000 'hits' in the next months or so...currently the tally is 931. You can help me get there!

I have just read Salmon Fishing in the Yemen by Paul Torday, which I bought second hand in Kuranda last month, when I was staying in Cairns (I am trying not to buy all my books online...) Very funny book, and a nice satire on recent British politics (the Blair years), as well as some thoughtful reflections on the difference between Western and Islamic societies.

I also really like reading Kathleen Noonan's column, in the Courier Mail every Saturday (on the back of 'etc'). Her column is usually about similar themes to this blog. This week she writes about a local lawyer and property developer who realised (after having a stroke) that making heaps of money does not create happiness. As she says, 'how come all these guys attain wisdom AFTER they have added to the general awfulness that is Brisbane's housing development and architecture?' Indeed.

Clothes shopping report
I am still trying not to buy new clothes, unless I have to. I had a recent breakout, when I bought 4 jumpers/t-shirts in a July sale at David Jones. This felt very weirdly guilty, and yet still enjoyable. The only other times I have broken the fast recently have been buying thermal underwear (for New Zealand in November), and gym wear some months ago. Both are getting heaps of use. Its still very cold at night, (and all day long in my house). And I am going to the gym about 4 times a week. I have actually signed up for the Bridge to Brisbane run (the 5 kilometre option) in September. So I am officially 'in training'.

more later.