October is the purplest month - and a significant anniversary approaches

Why Purple? When I first arrived in Australia, my first job was working at St Lucia, University of Queensland's main campus, processing student enrolments - paper ones! That was 25 years ago next month. I think we missed the best of the jacarandas that year, but the following year was amazing.

In October, jacaranda trees were flowering all over the place, signalling the arrival of spring and - exams! I learnt that this association was strong for those who grew up here, as it meant that the end of the academic year was approaching.

And, yes, jacaranda time means exams, for some and for me, marking...and graduation of our Masters of Mental Health Art Therapy students. At UQ - small world.

My previous experience of jacarandas, was the Jacaranda Garden Cafe in Brixton, London, where I used to live - now Craft Beer, apparently.

Some more slightly purple artwork.

This time last year, I was stressed out by jacaranda time. I was just finishing my Masters of Social Work. I have (as a result) been working full time since March, and feeling stressed in a different way. No assignments, yay, just adjusting to spending more time at work, and having to ignore the garden, blogging, and other creative pursuits most of the time. In a way, this is harder, as there is no 'end' in sight - life (unless you are a teacher) does not come packaged in semester-sized chunks - so noticing the great (big and small) stuff everyday is more important than ever.

Remembering to be grateful, I am appreciating my TOIL day off today, anticipating being on holiday in Tasmania soon, (first holiday without children, as they both are now officially adults) and listening to music (a mix tape, almost!) for this year's Woodford Folk Festival.

I enjoy reading anything by Michael Nobbs, because he writes about how to still be creative with less time or energy available. Michael reminds me to notice the creative milestones, which signify progress towards our small achievements.For me, this is almost 4 years of (fairly regular) blogging, since December 2010. 170 posts, which is over 40 a year. And almost 14,000 views. 

In this new phase of life -  I need to remember that maintaining good self-care is still very important. Eating well, sleeping well, keeping fit and staying connected. Noticing the good stuff. And of course, regularly celebrating milestones.

more later

in which a slightly irregular patchwork quilt emerges, and another adventure begins...

 

framework quilt

Back in October 2012, whilst on my first social work placement, I made a quilt, based on an embroidered vintage tablecloth, which became my 'framework quilt', as it represented the many theoretical influences that inform my therapeutic practice.

I had to present my theoretical framework to the class, and it seemed logical to me to do that in visual, textile form.

Recently, I found some patchwork blocks I had started making a few years ago, using precut printed cotton strips (bought in rolls called 'jelly rolls'). The strips are sewn together lengthwise, then cut crosswise into strips, to make stripey strips. These strips are then resewn together, to make a block:

 the block

I made four squares like this (this is the last one, and is the most uneven, as I ran out of some prints) and joined them with additional strips, until it was large enough to make a quilt. I also had an old woollen blanket with pale pink satin ribbon edging at each end, which I wanted to incorporate into the quilt.  I managed to keep the satin edge, whilst quilting the rest of the blanket, which I think worked quite well.

Woodland Quilt

I admit I am not completely happy with this quilt, as the final turquoise binding didn't totally work, and I am going to redo it. But I was very happy with the process of making the quilt, especially as there was some resonance with the framework quilt, and I was now in the process of applying for jobs. 

At one stage this week, I had the sense of sewing a job for myself. This may sound strange, but it feels intuitively right, as I was systematically piecing together all the tiny scraps of my experience, and making them into something useful, warm and comforting. Perhaps a good metaphor for therapy?

Whatever the reason, sewing things together feels satisfyingly integrative. It also strikes me, that my father's paintings were all about coloured squares, and he really liked Bauhaus artist Josef Albers, who painted squares for over 25 years.

 Study for Homage to the Square by Joseph Albers

I realised after making the quilt, that there was a kind of 'woodland theme', both in the colours, and in some of the prints, many of which were floral, and which also included bird and toadstool motifs. Whether this symbolises being 'lost in the woods', or being 'out of the woods', I am not sure...but today I was informally offered the job I blogged about last week, after a long interview on Tuesday. So I am feeling pretty excited about that.

more later.

the Yin and Yang of study: How mindfulness and combat helped me get through social work

meditation cushion

I made this cushion as a prototype, and stuffed it with two old pillows - still a bit soggy so think it needs to be smaller and more compact.  I have trouble getting my knees lower than my hips (when sitting on the ground).

I heard a program on RN the other day about an article disputing the 'validity' of yin and yang and Traditional Chinese Medicine, suggesting it was all an invention of Chairman Mao, trying to 'sell' Chinese culture to the West.. These kind of debates are always tricky, and the point about it for me was that it made me think about how the idea of opposites is very appealing. And in fact the calmness, stability and balance we crave is possibly a reaction to the craziness we live in much of the time. 

Speaking of which, this Blogger Dashboard is becoming quite unstable, flickery and annoying, and if it continues for much longer I will have to break up with it and move to Word Press or something more user friendly.

So I am also reflecting on what helped me get through a two year Masters program in Social Work, finally and totally finished last Friday with an anxious 8-minute rave about why we are ready to be social workers. We are? Sort of...

And I believe that in the last challenging semester in particular, a combination of mindfulness practice and intense exercise (body combat and spin classes) helped me get through. And of course, although they seem like opposites, they aren't really. They are both body based, and provided a welcome relief from so much thinking, thinking, thinking.

I acknowledged in the MBSR class last night, that I have a slight fear of what will happen if I stop thinking completely (which is a goal of meditation, in so far as meditation can have goal), to which the teacher responded with Decartes' 'I think therefore I am' - taking me back to my first year of undergraduate study on the philosophy of the Enlightenment: I don't particularly like this concept, but I acknowledge it is so often an experiential reality.

 

Perhaps this is the antidote I am searching for - Drawing your Life - looking forward to  doing this now I have some time - in theory at least. 

 triple Z building, Fortitude Valley, Brisbane - a good sort of craziness?

the owl and the pussycat went to sea...in a beautiful pea-green jetski - more craziness

 limited palette

 
rain - finally, we got some

Yes I admit, drawing also helped me get through. It provided a good way to process difficult experiences, and to move beyond thoughts. Studying social work has made me more convinced than ever of the value of art therapy. As an emotional outlet, cultural expression, and mindfulness tool. 

But mainly I am relieved its all over. Some days I never thought I'd get there (here). Phew.

more later.

on being a social worker - almost

I am awarding  myself a button medal for endurance this week

 (yes, this is another cheat post from my QUT blog, but hey, it is almost the end of semester)

Being a social worker means:

• Having the language and framework to describe how my humanist values, professional integrity and personal ethics are deeply embedded in my daily work practice, regardless of the specific context,
• specifically, expanding my professional identity to incorporate the macro level of culture and society,
• having increased confidence in being able to work sensitively and appropriately with people who identify as Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander, due to having developed greater cultural knowledge and skills through academic study, training and experiences on placement,
• having a heightened awareness of the increasingly adverse political environment, the impact of this on the community, having the ability to critique this political environment, and respond in an effective manner,
• understanding more clearly how structural factors, such as economic and educational disadvantage, impact on individuals, families and communities, resulting in physical and mental illness, lower educational achievement, higher unemployment and a multitude of other negative outcomes,

• having a broader perspective on state and federal government policy changes, which are currently impacting on issues such as civil liberties, workers’ rights, refugees’ human rights, mental health and disability,
• perhaps most importantly, having an understanding of the global challenge of climate change, and how government policies are acting against our long term interests as a species on this fragile planet, by abandoning strategies for slowing global warming, let alone acting collaboratively with other nations in pursuit of this goal, for the sake of future generations,
• having a recognised professional body, the AASW, to support me and my future professional development, and having more doors open to me in terms of employment opportunities,
• adding a new layer to my previous knowledge, skills and experience as an art therapist and educator,
• being able to pursue my goal of becoming a mental health social worker in private practice, so that I can provide an accessible service to disadvantaged clients through a mental health plan,
• having experience, through two very different placements, of working in both government and non-government sectors,
• bringing a broader socio-cultural perspective into art therapy education at University of Queensland,
• perhaps also contributing to the future professional development of social workers, in areas in which I have expertise that I can share,

• Using my pre-existing skills in art therapy, mindfulness and acceptance and commitment therapy, and as a therapist with children and families, to continue to work effectively with clients, using a strengths and values-based, person-centred, humanistic, approach,
• being flexible and adaptable to working in a range of contexts and roles, which at times has included having the ability to do less than usual, for example, observing and reflecting, rather than jumping into action, which has been both a struggle and a gift, due to being on placement in environments where this was possible, and at times, imperative,
• Having a great sense of achievement, due to having survived the somewhat surreal experience of simultaneously being both a lecturer and a student, at different universities, and being both a supervisor of students in my workplace, and a supervisee on placement, which has brought home any number of power and control issues, both for myself and others, that can perhaps only be experienced first-hand to be completely appreciated…

more later

happy long easter weekend, april fool's day, etc.

 soft flowery cow on purple chair

I have given myself a break from studying, over the long weekend, and have had fun making and drawing stuff instead. I also struggled with the usually easy task of recharging my camera battery and downloading some photos. It made me smile when I heard Billy Bragg's new song, Handyman Blues, from Tooth and Nail, in which he sings: I'm a writer not a decorator, (so don't ask him to put up any shelves....).

Well, I'm an art therapist/blogger not an IT expert...clearly, I did eventually figure it out with a bit of help..I even found some photos I had 'lost' on my camera, from last December's trip to Melbourne, wow! (How can that happen?). 

However, if anyone can tell me how to reduce the 'view size' (does that even mean anything?) of my Blogger dashboard - suddenly over-magnified and hard to navigate - so I can see the whole thing in one view again, please let me know, that would be great. Its so off-putting.

 persimmons and chillies - watercolour and pen drawing

One of the great things about our vege box delivery is never knowing what we will get - I would probably never have bought persimmons, but they are beautiful in all their yellowy orangeness, and surprisingly delicious. 

 vase with chrysanthemum buds - pencil drawing

'Mums' from my mum, 'cos I was sick. V. nice.

two-tiered hand-made book

Hard to do justice to in a photo, but this two-tiered book is made with three different sized covers, all collaged with upholstery offcuts from Reverse Garbage. I made half of the paper 'signatures' (sheets of paper folded in half and grouped together, to form part of a book) the size of the smallest cover and the rest of the signatures the size of the largest, and sewed it all together with dark red and lilac waxed linen thread. The  recycled paper includes architect's drawings, old scraps of cartridge, wrapping paper for the endpapers, and other odds and ends from my supplies. Its got an open spine, sadly not visible in this shot. I love using old paper, it makes it easier to reuse, less of a blank sheet scaring me.

 Melbourne street art

Melbourne soft street art

Two of my retrieved photos from Melbourne...last December. 

Stopping studying for a break has been really good, just not sure if I can get back into it again, doesn't take long to lose momentum again. I am ahead with one social work assignment, but there is an exam on the horizon...and I got my lowest mark so far for Political Economy, oh well. Only two more months and this semester will be pretty much over. I have an interview for my final placement next week, I think I may be going to Queensland Health...well that could be interesting. 

more later.

Finishing what I started - and digressing a bit...

 Botanical Gardens - sculpture

In this post, I am going to try and finish the review - the one that I never quite got around to completing before - (and maybe, for future reference, I need to reduce the number of points to focus on at a time, for these projects I set myself to be more manageable).

1. The first one of the remaining five, is Therapy. Now, don't laugh, but I can't exactly remember what I meant by therapy (!).  I am going to guess that it is about ongoing professional development. Since identifying these goals/values two years ago. I have embarked on a Masters of Social Work, which is half complete, so in a sense, I have this one covered. I have also attended and presented at Acceptance and Commitment Therapy conferences, and organised an Art Therapy conference, as well. Life Long Learning, as they (we?) say at QUT. I really enjoy learning new things, although I sometimes have difficulty putting new knowledge into practice. 

 

home away from home - 

community bike repair station at South Bank Parklands

I love this!

2. Home, is the second value, and what better time to be writing about it, on my holidays at home...all good that is, until we have an extremely hot day. Which tomorrow is predicted to be, in several states, but fortunately not for South East Queensland. Tasmania's bushland has been burning out of control this week, and it is two years since Queensland, including Brisbane, was extensively flooded. This makes me appreciate Home. Oh, and the shower is leaking, so a plumber is coming tomorrow. But usually, I love being at home, its one of my favourite places. 

 

Botanical growth

3. Emotional growth - trying to write (and make art) here about emotions is interesting. I am fairly cautious about writing about others, but I consider myself fair game. I am pretty open about my anxiety, which is the private (hidden) emotion that I struggle with most - often around 3am. I believe that meditation is making me calmer overall, however. Which is the main reason I keep doing it. Having just witnessed my dog having a near panic attack at the vet this arvo, I truly appreciate the value of CALM.

                                                                            speechless
 
4. Communication. Funnily enough, one of my social work assignments is to write, in a public blog, on a topic of current economic policy...this is actually a bit terrifying, as the comments from other bloggers are often brutal. I think I am going to write about the single parent pension being cut to parents with children over 8, which was implemented on 1st January. Instead, they will get New Start, which will take them below the poverty line. This apparently is an 'Incentive to work'. And the Minister, Jenny Macklin, said she could live on $35 a day. And lots of people now want her to prove it.

One of the things I enjoyed learning about this year was Non-Violent Communication. This is one of those 'hard to put into practice' examples. And especially on a public blog!

5. Spirituality - the last of the thirteen - and the one I struggle most with. I think it is somehow too intangible for me. Whereas mindfulness, I can handle. Having said that, I saw the movie Samsara the other night: quite a splendid visual feast, and with Spiritual Themes. Quite amazing. I think it had a vaguely Buddhist underlying theme - with Tibetan monks, a prayer wheel, a sand mandala, and the title, Samsara, which means the 'ever turning wheel of life' in Sanskrit. It seemed to emphasise impermanence, or change, to me, which I guess is a variation of the same thing. It is also slightly unnerving, especially some scenes in Chinese (I presume) factories, prisons and on rubbish dumps. And the Ghanian man, who is buried in a coffin shaped like a gun. Seriously.

Well, I think I have done my baker's dozen, and without a digression. I thought I should call the blog, 'Doing what matters - and the odd digression' - and perhaps I will. My next task is to whittle down the 13 into a manageable number, say three.

And to spend less time on ancestry.com (but I did trace a direct line of 22 generations, back to Robert the Bruce, aka Braveheart, yay!).

And to start my assignment.

more later. 

When jokes aren't funny

A promise: lots of links and news in this post, as I have been trying to catch up with myself for so long. No more excuses!

 Collage and pastel drawing: 'What's your next life?'

This is a collage I made in our peer supervision group on starting my QUT Masters in Social Work course at the beginning of the year.  (The course director in the webpage video is my current lecturer for my summer course in Political Economy and Policy Making). It seems like a long time ago, but as usual, time goes fast when you are busy and yes, some of it was even fun. I LOVED my placement for example, as I have written in previous posts. 

 2 collages on parental attachment and ACT, based on Russian dolls - words may be illegible, sorry!

But back to the now, or at least the recent past. Since I last wrote here. I have been away interstate twice in a week, and have only just started feeling normal again, as it was surprisingly tiring (going to Sydney for THE DAY being the most ridiculous idea I have had for a while - 4am sucks, period). However, the Melbourne trip in particular was a great success, and our presentation about our therapy model at Silky Oaks Children's Haven to the national Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) conference went very well, with a lot of positive feedback from participants. It was almost worth the prior anxiety. 

And the unhelpful thoughts, that this would not be good enough, that we needed more evidence, that it wasn't ACT-enough, well I have thanked my mind many times for them. And found a great response to this anxiety from another blogger, Graham Martin, who is a leading child and youth psychiatrist on the north side of Brisbane. This is the link to Graham's blog for a Haiku on mental health. I really appreciate his sentiments. The importance of doing what matters, in other words.

Photo: 'Impress an environmentalist' sign on Brisbane CityCycle bike basket

One thing that did not impress us at the ANZACT conference, was the Saturday night 'entertainment', The (well-named) Follies. Like a recent and very unfortunate radio prank (a good analysis of this here), it was probably not intended to offend.  Or at least, not much. But somehow they got it horribly wrong, and it was rather inappropriate to say the least. No longer is it ok to say, we were 'only joking', as one man's Snigger may be another (wo)man's Trigger.

Probably enough said, but since I have become a Joint-Destroyer, I cannot say NOTHING!.

more later.

Back on the blog: ethical practice, life, the universe, etc.

Apologies for the break in transmission. Normal service won't be happening for another 6 weeks or so...still on social work placement, still working, still somewhat exhausted. But I am going to share an extract for one of my bloggy assignments. Yes, we have to write on a sort of private, for students-eyes-only blog. We had to write about an ethical issue. My only question: which one should I pick? 

My placement is at an agency which supports people who are marginalised and have complex and chronic mental health and other disabilities. I have been very affected, not only by the extreme emotional vulnerability of many of the service users I have met and interacted with on my placement, but also by experiencing the impact of their poverty and disadvantage firsthand. 

Visiting people in their homes, and on their terms, feels very different to working in a centre, and interacting 'by appointment'. This also relates to the agency focus on 'deprofessionalisation', and the blurring of the boundaries between 'workers', 'students', and 'friends'. I keep hearing, and I agree, that, people needs friends in their lives, not professionals. But I am still unclear where these friends will come from. People who are seeking support may often wish to form stronger and more lasting relationships with workers (or volunteers, where the boundary is even more blurred) than is wanted by the worker. Some of the workers and volunteers (unlike myself) have a religious faith, which seems to inform their decision to include marginalised and disadvantaged people in their lives.

I keep reflecting on this, which raises a personal ethical dilemma: 'how much can I give of my time/myself?' I am aware of the irony, as I often don't have time to see my own friends (especially this semester!). This is also a self-care issue. I know I need to have clear boundaries to keep myself emotionally and physically well, and to be an effective worker.

There is obviously a huge difference between myself, being in a position of economic privilege, and socially connected, but very 'time poor'; and service users, who may have lots of 'free time', but little social contact, or opportunities for community participation.  

Without a radical change in lifestyle, I am unlikely to ever have much more 'free time', for example, until retirement. (Although the current government is about to assist many public servants with this dilemma.) This also raises an ethical issue for me, in broader social terms, about the way we live: so many people are stressed and overworked, whilst others are marginalised, lonely and living in poverty. Somehow it feels to me like a complete mismatch.

By the way, I am so pleased some of you are still reading this blog, despite my recent absence. Please feel free to add your comments at any time. 

More later. Possibly quite a bit later...

its knot all black and white...happy harmony day!

'knot all black and white': collage and pastels

I made this collage after thinking about how to integrate art therapy and social work knowledge.

The colourful flowers or cogs, represent art therapy knowledge, and the black and white 'knotty' patches represent social work theory. Not that it is colourless or anything, I am actually enjoying reading the theories and frameworks, but it is a little different from art therapy texts - actually better written I would have to say. And its all about the words: no pictures, and only a few diagrams!!

Basically, I have always believed that most disciplines, although having their own knowledge base, also use a lot of shared, or generic, knowledge. (This is what I have learned from belonging to a discipline that is only just on the edge of being recognised as a valid discipline, at least by the 'powers that be', whoever they are...in Evidence Based Practice-land.) This view was challenged by being asked recently to write something that I see as generic, 'from a social work perspective', which to me was pretty meaningless.

Well I am sort of getting it, now. Luckily, as this is what I am paying for, to have a 'social work perspective'. It made me reflect on what knowledge is shared, and what is specialised, or 'owned'. Art therapists also feel ownership - of using art in clinical settings - but that view is not necessarily shared by others. Interesting stuff.

Lights and lanterns, La Boite, As you like it  

Words can be a delight, as they were in the recent (current) production of As you like it we went to see last week at La Boite, also at  'my' university, QUT. Shakespeare surely is all about the words. And I love it!! The photo, above, is part of the set, taken in the interval. Its a collection of lanterns and fairy lights, meant to evoke the Woodford Folk Festival. 

knots - silicon baking ties.

I can remember seeing a play by RD Laing called knots. It was hilarious. 

Its Harmony Day today. Apparently (according to the government website) its all about Sport - how Australian! Actually, its all about racial harmony. Sorry chaps.

Happy Harmony Day!

more later.