Bluesfest, blogging and perspective taking: how it all helps

 

 Bluesfest acrobats

Seduced perhaps by the immediacy of Instagram, I have been finding it hard to get back to this blog - sort of a blog-lag? (My Instagram name is eclair57, if you want to  find me there...)

Other excuses could include: starting a new job recently, and having spent a bit more time out and about having fun...over two long weekends in a row...however, the real added value for me in being away, is being able to put things in perspective, and this is a really helpful skill, for those of us who tend to be anxious at times. Oliver Burkeman describes it well here. Giving new meaning to the devil is in the detail...

 Bluesfest good friday lantern parade 1

Very uncharacteristically, I went to Bluesfest at Byron Bay for the first time ever, having almost given up on live music about 20 years ago. Apart from Billy Bragg, of course. Why? Too loud, too annoying to stand up for long periods, too unsure what I really liked. I did start to challenge this negative perspective, by going to Woodford early this year, though. And, come to think of it, Reggae for Recovery three years ago, after the 2011 Brisbane floods.

Well, perhaps this new job can also assist me in my leisure pursuits: inspired by my new colleagues, I decided to plunge into Bluesfest on good friday. It happened to be the 25th anniversary, so the line-up was particularly impressive. S was also willing, which helped.

 Bluesfest good friday lantern parade 2

Hard (for me) to capture live music in images, especially on a smartphone, but it was really good fun, and we saw some great acts, including: India Arie, Aaron Neville and Dyson, Cloher and Stringer, three female singer songwriters from Melbourne. Not to mention Rockwiz (a live music t.v. quiz, for the non-Aussie readers), Boz Scaggs and Joss Stone. Phew. 

Then the following night, we saw KC and the Sunshine Band, a real blast from the seventies, at the Tivoli in Brisbane. Wow, that was also really fun. At 63, KC has some health issues, but he is still boogie-ing on down. (His best joke was that he was thinking of changing his name to KFC...oh dear!)

I just spent another long weekend away, this time at Springbrook National Park, in the Gold Cost Hinterland: a beautiful rainforest environment.  We walked and relaxed, and last night, we saw two planets, Saturn and Mars, and Alpha Centuri (nearest star) through the Springbrook Research Observatory telescope, before the clouds set in for the night. Now that's taking perspective!

Looking at very old trees can have the same effect.

  ancient Antarctic beeches at Springbrook National Park 'Best of all Lookouts'

As can this:

 

Perspective-taking: we can either focus on the detail...

 ...or the big picture

Blogging also helps a lot with perspective-taking, as do both art and mindfulness, as they all develop capacity to observe and reflect as well as react. 

Meanwhile I have been making something special for my old work colleagues: this is a sneak preview.

 tree of hearts detail

On the work front, I am slowly adjusting to my new environment. I have booked to go to the International Trauma Conference in Melbourne in August. Trauma, at least, is a given, and a source of continuity. How comforting!

more later.

Kayaking adventure

Brisbane City Council has a GOLD (Growing Older, Living Dangerously) Program, which we now qualify for.  This Sea Kayaking activity at Nudgee Beach today was free! Ok, it rained, but it was still awesome.

 The best part was paddling amongst the mangroves on the coast at high tide...

Avoiding the other paddlers...

And seeing the birds like this egret...

And the cormorant spreading its wings in the sun. When the rain stopped.

Rainbow brooch by Curly Pops

If only I hadn't done body combat and pump the day before, my arms may have hurt less.

One more day in my old job, and then I will have Mondays free-ish.

Looking forward to April.

more later.

heartfelt gallery/crop fest remix

heart #1: felt and applique pocket

After what seems like a long break, I'm back on the blog again.

Meanwhile, I have been trying to adjust to full-time work - in fact, I'm currently doing three jobs, as I am still in my old job for another two weeks, as well as teaching at UQ, and in my new job with Mercy (aka Sisters of Mercy) Services. Which, considering I was basically working only two days a week between November and February, is a huge culture shock!

Change has been pretty much a constant for the past six months. Perhaps longer, it depends when you start counting. But that is when S. resigned from his public service job, which threw things into flux.

 heart #2: deflated patchwork heart

 heart #3: oven g/love heart

Finding things that stablise me has been really important. Art has surprisingly not been a big part of this process, at least recently. Art takes time. I did try to tune in to some tutorials by Michael Nobbs at Sustainably Creative, but found I was too overwhelmed. I remember dad (also called Michael, who was always busy, and who died four years ago this month) saying he played the jazz trumpet as a substitute for painting, as it was easier to pick up and put down again. But I don't play an instrument: basically, yoga, meditation and body combat are my jazz!

 heart #4: Sustainably Creative Heart, drawing

 heart #5: origami

Dad often painted squares when he did paint, being influenced by Joseph Albers (who painted squares) and Frank Stella (who painted stripes) in bright Pop Art colours. I must admit I love the almost ritual quality of the repeated shapes, and patterns, which he claimed to work out on graph paper. which leads me to my repeated heart shapes in this post. 

The idea came from Curly Pops, aka Cam, blogger and fabric artist, who is creating a tea towel of Instagram heart pics to raise money and awareness for heart and lung transplant recipients via the Tour de Transplant currently happening in Victoria (22nd to 30th March). Cam had a lung transplant last year.

 heart #6: flowers and planets

On Friday night we went to crop fest, at Wandering Cooks, at 1, Fish Lane, West End.

Sustainable veggie soup, music, and a good community vibe - what more could you want?

wonky felt rainbow: detail of bigger picture fabric collage

This is a sneak preview of fabric collage I am (secretly) making for my old workplace, Silky Oaks: its going to be called the Tree of Life, and it features hearts on trees. Now the secret is out.

I also have to mention the wonderful Billy Bragg, who we saw and heard on Thursday night at the Tivoli (yes its been a busy week). Bragg is a great communicator, singer and songwriter with a big heart, who creates an instant community at his gigs. I know, I've been to a few now...

Here is Billy busking with Jack Monroe of food blogging fame. Worlds colliding again...

 

 from Mercy Centre, where I attended a mindfulness retreat last Sunday.

Perhaps things will settle down soon. 

more later

secular Buddhism 101: 'mudita' and the everyday sublime

 reverse applique felt, embroidery (using rainbow thread) and button mandala

Since becoming aware of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) almost 4 years ago, when I attended my first Russ Harris workshop, I have also been discovering (and rediscovering) various forms of meditation and mindfulness practice.

I first learnt Transcendental Meditation (TM) when I was fifteen, thanks to my friend Susan, who suggested we attend a talk one evening after school at the Adult Education Centre in Dartington, South Devon. We went on to learn TM, which involves the repetition of a mantra (or sound), and focusing on the mantra instead of thoughts, which leads to a deep level of relaxation, and change in brain wave patterns, quite quickly. We practised regularly for a while, but being teenagers, we didn't like the feeling of being monitored by the teachers after the class - to be fair, they were only being supportive, but I was very rebellious.

 water soluble oil pastel Buddha face

I practiced TM intermittently since, but started to do so regularly again after seeing the value of mindfulness in my clinical practice, and also as a self-care tool, soon after learning about ACT. My teenage clients are fairly unimpressed with the idea of regular meditation, so I often talk about mindfulness in daily life, instead. This means noticing what your senses are telling you, rather than your thoughts.

I have just realised I have been doing TM incorrectly, after reading this article by Stuart Heritage, who points out that you are supposed to meditate twice a day for 20 minutes, whereas I have been doing it for 30 minutes once a day. So I am in a ten minute deficit, but no doubt some is a lot better than none.

I am also curious about the secrecy surrounding the mantra that Heritage refers to. The cynical part of me suspects this is a way of keeping the teachers as the experts, so new learners don't teach their friends - its a pretty simple technique. There was quite a ritual to the giving of the mantra, and it being specially chosen to suit our personality: however, when Susan and I eventually told each other our mantras (against instructions - but we were rebellious teenagers, what did they expect?) we realised we both had the same one, which was kind of deflating. Perhaps that is another reason for the secrecy...

 appliqued new and vintage textile labyrinth meditation path 

(which formed part of my social work frameworks presentation - social work is represented by the  embroidered tablecloth)

The idea of the labyrinth as a walking meditation path is an ancient one and occurs in a variety of cultures including christianity. I became aware of the potential of the finger labyrinth as a meditation tool through one of my students, also an ACT afficionado, who conducted a pilot  research project into using finger labyrinths.Basically the finger traces the path, which resembles a walking meditation path, but is obviously much smaller.

sitting meditation - pastels

This weekend I attended talks by Martine and Stephen Batchelor, who teach within the Buddhist tradition, but from a secular and contemporary perspective. The talks included walking and sitting meditations, with a focus on developing 'mudita', or Appreciative Joy, which is one of the four virtues/divine states of dwelling or 'feeling tones' as Martine described them. The other three are Loving Kindness (metta), Compassion (karuna) and Equanimity (upekkha).

Stephen then talked later about the Everyday Sublime, (he also said to be very wary of any nouns beginning with capital letters, but anyway). This equates to mindfulness in everyday life, and includes appreciative joy, but also suffering, which Buddhism is often concerned with. This all fits very neatly with ACT, which emphasises the human tendency towards'experiential avoidance', or how we try to avoid feeling anything we label bad, sad or mad.

The main point of Stephen's talk was the role of the arts and the artist in practicing the Four Noble Tasks (often called Truths, but he prefers Tasks, which is also very ACT-ish, as it emphasises action). The sublime is a term from aesthetics, which includes terrifying yet fascinating experiences and the emotions they evoke, as identified by the Romantic poets, for example. Stephen suggests the role of the artist is to articulate the everyday sublime, and this includes:

• Embracing Life
• Letting go of Reactivity
• Affirming Freedom from Reactivity and 
• Cultivating this way of life, 

which together leads to Awakening or Enlightenment (more capital letters).

All very interesting and I feel very inadequate in trying to relay the concepts, but I am hoping this will help me remember and understand, as much as anything. This is quite a long post, and now I am going out to dinner. It was my (our) wedding Uni-versary (we got married on Leap Year Day) this weekend.

Congratulations if you made it this far, which is also a good thought for an anniversary, albeit not a 'real' one.. embracing the everyday sublime, appreciating the joy, and the wisdom to know the difference, or something.

more later

paying and giving attention, 'kids on speed' and new beginnings

 

This is a great picture to illustrate the recent ABC program series about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder,  'Kids on Speed' (available for a few days only). The program demonstrated some really interesting family dynamics, and showed how drugs alone don't solve the problem, although they can help if used in conjunction with 'Parent Assisted Therapy', which means retraining parents to manage 'problem' behaviours more effectively. Another factor in ADHD and other behavioural problems is giving positive attention to children, which seems to be increasingly difficult as families become busier and busier.

 

 This sign is displayed at our favourite coffee spot, on the Goodwill Bridge, in Brisbane. Not a good way to manage behavioural problems.

  digitally altered photo of the moon one night last week.

I've been in the gradual process of leaving my much loved work place, and getting ready to start my new job. Next week is the start of the first semester of the university year, so I will also be teaching once a week for about 12 weeks. 

 

patchwork mandala pattern, an aid to mindful meditation?

 

Trying to stay mindful is incredibly challenging during periods of change and instability, I'm finding. 

I drove the car into a trolley post at Woolworths on Sunday, due to not paying attention (the car tells me when I am about to hit something, and I ignored it). Oops. A surprising amount of damage was done.

more later

Heat, hearts and hype - Happy Valentine's weekend!

Valentine's Day can be weird, especially for the unattached. I innocently asked a woman I know fairly well if she was doing anything special, and she burst into tears, having recently broken up with her partner. And I loved this story, about a prank in a Beijing cinema, which meant that couples were unable to sit next to each other, as all the odd numbered seats had been booked by unattached singles.

Either we hope to get a nice surprise, if we have a partner, or we are unwilling to participate in the hype which says we should buy presents for no good reason, or both. And, unless you have a policy, its unlikely you will both do the same, and then both will feel bad. Is it worse to buy a present and get nothing back, or give nothing (because of the hype, of course) and feel guilty because you got something? I have been in both positions, and I think the latter is worse. And having a policy just seems wrong and unspontaneous - but perhaps that's the definition of marriage?

 a door opening...pastels and collage

I have signed the contract for my new job, so I am now able to say its a Counselling position with Mercy Community Services in Goodna, working with children and families. So, its very similar to my current job, but four days a week instead of two, which is just about perfect. I wont be starting until March, so will have two more weeks to get ready. Starting the new job coincides with starting back at uni, although I'm 'just' teaching this year not studying as well. So glad that's over.

 

This is the movie we saw on Valentine's Day: a classic, if dated. Audrey Hepburn is amazing. I laughed out loud when a man sitting next to me - not my partner (he was on the other side, it wasn't Beijing) said 'that was a very ordinary film'. I think he meant 'extraordinary'...it could definitely not be described as ordinary.

However, it was over 50 years old, and thankfully single women have more options these days than hoping to marry a rich man who will buy her diamonds. Interesting that both the female and male leading characters are sort of prostituting themselves, although the man (George Peppard) is supported by a patroness (Patricia Neal), which sounds slightly more acceptable.

bird brooch by my friend Kareen

Another extraordinary film is 12 years a slave. Harrowing, true and very moving" everyone should see it, but only when feeling emotionally strong enough to deal with the vicarious trauma.

Cycling today felt like moving through warm treacle. The temperature is supposed to be about 38 degrees, so I am really appreciating the air conditioning, and feeling thankful that we finally succumbed this Spring. At least the solar panels are generating more power as fast as we consume it (we still get negative bills). 35 degrees used to be really hot, but that seems to have been replaced by the top thirties, even 40 on some days, in some parts of Australia.

more later.

in which a slightly irregular patchwork quilt emerges, and another adventure begins...

 

framework quilt

Back in October 2012, whilst on my first social work placement, I made a quilt, based on an embroidered vintage tablecloth, which became my 'framework quilt', as it represented the many theoretical influences that inform my therapeutic practice.

I had to present my theoretical framework to the class, and it seemed logical to me to do that in visual, textile form.

Recently, I found some patchwork blocks I had started making a few years ago, using precut printed cotton strips (bought in rolls called 'jelly rolls'). The strips are sewn together lengthwise, then cut crosswise into strips, to make stripey strips. These strips are then resewn together, to make a block:

 the block

I made four squares like this (this is the last one, and is the most uneven, as I ran out of some prints) and joined them with additional strips, until it was large enough to make a quilt. I also had an old woollen blanket with pale pink satin ribbon edging at each end, which I wanted to incorporate into the quilt.  I managed to keep the satin edge, whilst quilting the rest of the blanket, which I think worked quite well.

Woodland Quilt

I admit I am not completely happy with this quilt, as the final turquoise binding didn't totally work, and I am going to redo it. But I was very happy with the process of making the quilt, especially as there was some resonance with the framework quilt, and I was now in the process of applying for jobs. 

At one stage this week, I had the sense of sewing a job for myself. This may sound strange, but it feels intuitively right, as I was systematically piecing together all the tiny scraps of my experience, and making them into something useful, warm and comforting. Perhaps a good metaphor for therapy?

Whatever the reason, sewing things together feels satisfyingly integrative. It also strikes me, that my father's paintings were all about coloured squares, and he really liked Bauhaus artist Josef Albers, who painted squares for over 25 years.

 Study for Homage to the Square by Joseph Albers

I realised after making the quilt, that there was a kind of 'woodland theme', both in the colours, and in some of the prints, many of which were floral, and which also included bird and toadstool motifs. Whether this symbolises being 'lost in the woods', or being 'out of the woods', I am not sure...but today I was informally offered the job I blogged about last week, after a long interview on Tuesday. So I am feeling pretty excited about that.

more later.