What's Wrong with Work?

Last Monday soon, after I arrived at work, I experienced some classic migraine symptoms - flashing zigzag lights, and photo phobia - but weirdly, without the throbbing headache (believe me, I'm not complaining).  My GP says no one really knows the cause of migraines. But still. Work stress, I am wondering...

Why write about work in the holidays? Well, I guess its that time of year, when we take some perspective on things. and a big part of 'things' is work. Its what we do, literally. But work is a difficult topic to write about, because if you are employed by an organisation, big or small, there are restrictions on what you can express in the public domain.

Some are stricter than others. In The Undesirables, Mark Isaacs describes working on Nauru's (really, Australia's) offshore detention centre, as an untrained, and totally unprepared, young employee of the Salvation Army. The work contract included the threat of being sacked if there was any 'leakage' of information about the appalling conditions for asylum seekers on Nauru, created by the Australian government. Isaacs no longer works on Nauru, and the Salvation Army no longer work there either. Which proves the point, from both sides, really.

In my case, work is not so draconian, but it is challenging. I took on full-time work this year, after two years of full-time Social Work study. My aim in studying was to get Mental Health Social Worker status, which I now have, and which enables me to work in private practice. And not be a full-time employee.

So, what was I thinking? Well, its easy to get into these kind of situations. When there is no one else in the immediate family with a permanent job, for example. These are the conditions we are living in* at the moment. Threatened and real redundancies, and rising unemployment, create an atmosphere of work status anxiety.

It takes courage to leave a job because the conditions are bad, or the system is screwed (and the 'system' could be the Public Service, or a 'not for profit'). Especially if you believe in what the system is trying to achieve, overall.  But I think it also takes courage and resilience to stay in a job where the conditions are bad, or the system is screwed - let's face it, we don't all have the luxury of acting on our principles, all of the time.

These two collages are called 'problems' and 'solutions', respectively. In the first one, things are out of kilter, fake, and there are chaotic, juxtaposed elements that don't make sense. In the second, there is greater coherence, respect for traditional knowledge, and living in harmony with nature. The real, and the ideal.  The second image makes me feel at peace. The first makes me feel sick. Perhaps I should try horse-riding.

Well, I have made one decision about work, and its in progress as I write. I have reduced my hours back to four days instead of five, which frees up one day a week for pursuing other things. This starts next week, in the New Year. I'll keep you posted, excuse the pun.

Purging and Setting Intentions
The idea of a symbolic purge intrigues me. Throw out all your 'bad stuff', on 28th December, which is Good Riddance Day, apparently. Or is that only in New York? Seems like it hasn't really caught on here yet. But I have participated in a similar ritual, on a meditation retreat, of writing down what you want to let go of, and putting the paper its written on in the communal fire. Honestly, I don't feel the symbolism, but then I am no good at setting intentions, either. When I do yoga, thats my intention. Just to do yoga. Not to think about what I intend to achieve by doing yoga. But I guess some people find it helpful.

Grumpy Old Mentor
I heard this expression today on Radio National, talking about Bill Murray's character in the movie St Vincent. I think this is something I could sometimes be described as, and aspire to.

Ordinary
One more thing, I liked this piece by Leigh Sales, about how journalists often write about how surprising it is when terrible things (sieges, massacres, acts of terrorism, plane crashes) tend to happen on 'ordinary days' - the fact that they do is obvious really. That seems to be the whole point, its surprising that we are surprised. Appreciate what (ordinary life) you have, while you can, is the overarching message. You never know when the ordinary may become extraordinarily bad.

A hyperlink won't work as its in the Australian, and its a pay to view article. You can see it on Twitter, go to @Eclair172.

That's all for now, more later.

N.B.
This post was somewhat prompted by my brother's imminent retirement. He is almost 2 years younger than me; this demonstrates the power of the sibship, and how we measure our 'success' in life! And again, I am not complaining!


*not sure if I agree with this writer, but I liked the metaphor of the 'middle class earthquake'. I don't blame airbnb. It seems like a great idea. Its capitalism I have a problem with.

In Tasmania

 

Lime Bay, Tasman Peninsula

This post features a selection of photos from our recent trip to Tasmania, the first holiday without children for 26 years! We hired a campervan, and followed the coast from Hobart, via the Tasman Peninsula, up the East Coast, including Freycinet, and then headed West as far as Launceston. We then drove South back to Hobart, where we stayed for another week. 

 Lime Bay

The rocky coastlines are so different from Queensland.

Near Lime Bay

This was supposed to be a lagoon, almost completely dried out. 

Near Lime Bay

 Tessellated Pavement, Tasman Peninsula

Interesting rock formations, partly eroded into grid-like patterns.

 Winery, East Coast

 Wineglass Bay, Freycinet Peninsula

Its a tough walk to reach this view, but worth the effort. 

 

 Wineglass Bay

 Wineglass Bay

 Wallaby, Freycinet 

Blue Wren, Coles Bay, Freycinet

This bird was at the campsite, in the Freycinet National Park.

Rock lichen, the Gardens, Bay of Fires

Amazing colours on the rocks. I would like to explore this area more, but the road stops here. 

 Colourful Cow

Ashgrove Cheese Factory, Elizabeth Town, Cradle to Coast Tasting Trail, Bass Highway

I bought lavender flavoured cheese here, from the nearby Lavender farm at Bridestowe.

Yum.

Rainforest, St Columba Falls, near St Helens

Rainforest, St Columba Falls, near St Helens

This was a beautiful walk down to the base of the waterfall.

Musselroe Bay, North East coast

A very remote area, hardly anyone there, just some holiday homes and one other camper. And lots of rabbits. Very peaceful.

 Bridport, North Coast

 

Sweet peas and foxgloves, Hobart Botanical Gardens

Artichoke, Hobart Botanical Gardens

There was a team filming a segment for the ABC's Gardening Australia while we were there. Something to do with pumpkins.

That's it for today. I hope to be a more active blogger again in 2015.  I could blame working full-time, which has taken its toll - and that is going to change in the New Year. Some exciting new projects in the pipeline - will write more when its more definite. 

Happy Holidays!

more later.

Should 'hate' be banned?

Someone told me the other day that they have banned the word 'hate' in their household - and what did I think?

This caught me my surprise, and I had to think on my feet, but I ended up saying 'hate' is just a word, it describes a feeling, and all feelings are ok.  Its hard enough for children to talk about their feelings, without having to navigate the parental  equivalent of political correctness. Which, confusingly,  I generally believe to be a good thing, and now there is proof that it works, as Oliver Burkeman reports.

Its actions, not feelings, we should be worried about. But is saying 'I hate you' an aggressive act? Is 'hate' even a feeling, or a thought? And can I express how I feel, when I am angry, without being verbally aggressive? Non-violent language tries to address this, but it can be challenging at times. I had another incident like this this morning, of getting 'lost' on my bike...no bike throwing occurred this time, but S and I lost each other again, and I had no phone, keys or money, again.

Meanwhile, we are in the middle of enjoying a fantastic British Film Festival, at the Palace cinemas, this weekend: we saw Testament of Youth last night, in which Vera Brittain, who became a pacifist, bravely speaks out against post-war sanctions on Germany, after losing her fiance, her brother, and other friends in the First World War. The more things change, the more they seem to stay the same.

Other festival films we have seen include Jimmy's Hall, Mr Turner and the Love Punch, with one more today, What we did on our Holidays. I am also keen on the Imitation game, but may be running out of cinema stamina, although being indoors and eating ice cream seems very sensible in this heat. Record* high temperatures of 40 degrees and above are anticipated today.

 

Brisbane is currently hosting the G20. Twenty five years after the collapse of the Berlin Wall,  Brisbane is like a police state this weekend. with wall to wall cops and prison vans. The city is otherwise deserted.

The highlight of G20 yesterday was Obama's speech at University of Queensland, which clearly called for action on climate change, amongst other things. Tony Abbott's insistence that 'Coal is good for humanity' is seriously being challenged.  Finally. By an American president. Who would have thought?

more later

*for November - its still only Spring...

What I love (and hate) about Australia - 2 lists, 25 years today!

We arrived in Oz 25 years ago today. So here are 25 things I love about Australia, not in any particular order:

1. Frequent sunshine
2. The great outdoors - spectacular scenery and a healthy lifestyle
3. Amazing produce, and excellent food in (some) restaurants and cafes
4. Space - room to breathe
5. Wildlife
6. The beach
7. Plants, from native orchids to flowering trees, like poincianas, jacarandas and frangipanis
8.  Shaun Micallef's Mad as Hell
9. Matthew Evans' Gourmet Farmer
10. Gardening Australia
11. Mangoes, lychees and other tropical fruit (but especially mangoes)
12. Rainforest
13. Tasmania 
14. Proximity to New Zealand and Asia
15. Denise Scott, Wendy Harmer, Julia Zemiro and Judith Lucy - and all the other women who make me laugh
16. No longer having to pay a mortgage in London
17. Really good coffee
18. Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
19. Birth Centre at the Royal Brisbane and Women's Hospital, where J was born
20. Aboriginal art and culture, and Aboriginal people's relationship to the land
21. Laughing Lotus Yoga - simultaneously nurturing and challenging classes
22. Food Connect - veggie box scheme sustainably connecting farmers and consumers
23. Higher Education - UQ for establishing an art therapy program, and QUT, for teaching me to be a social worker, when it was still affordable.
24. Friends, new and old
25. Family - both near and far

 

And then there is the not so good...

1.  Immigration policies - see #4 above - we have lots of room to spare
2. (Lack of) climate change policies in current government
3. Car culture, poor public transport
4. Hideous pubs
5. High levels of domestic violence
6. 'Casual' racism and sexism
7. Nowhere near Europe or UK
8. Dependency on coal mining and other fossil fuel
9. Very hot days
10. Commercial TV, truly trashy

more later

October is the purplest month - and a significant anniversary approaches

Why Purple? When I first arrived in Australia, my first job was working at St Lucia, University of Queensland's main campus, processing student enrolments - paper ones! That was 25 years ago next month. I think we missed the best of the jacarandas that year, but the following year was amazing.

In October, jacaranda trees were flowering all over the place, signalling the arrival of spring and - exams! I learnt that this association was strong for those who grew up here, as it meant that the end of the academic year was approaching.

And, yes, jacaranda time means exams, for some and for me, marking...and graduation of our Masters of Mental Health Art Therapy students. At UQ - small world.

My previous experience of jacarandas, was the Jacaranda Garden Cafe in Brixton, London, where I used to live - now Craft Beer, apparently.

Some more slightly purple artwork.

This time last year, I was stressed out by jacaranda time. I was just finishing my Masters of Social Work. I have (as a result) been working full time since March, and feeling stressed in a different way. No assignments, yay, just adjusting to spending more time at work, and having to ignore the garden, blogging, and other creative pursuits most of the time. In a way, this is harder, as there is no 'end' in sight - life (unless you are a teacher) does not come packaged in semester-sized chunks - so noticing the great (big and small) stuff everyday is more important than ever.

Remembering to be grateful, I am appreciating my TOIL day off today, anticipating being on holiday in Tasmania soon, (first holiday without children, as they both are now officially adults) and listening to music (a mix tape, almost!) for this year's Woodford Folk Festival.

I enjoy reading anything by Michael Nobbs, because he writes about how to still be creative with less time or energy available. Michael reminds me to notice the creative milestones, which signify progress towards our small achievements.For me, this is almost 4 years of (fairly regular) blogging, since December 2010. 170 posts, which is over 40 a year. And almost 14,000 views. 

In this new phase of life -  I need to remember that maintaining good self-care is still very important. Eating well, sleeping well, keeping fit and staying connected. Noticing the good stuff. And of course, regularly celebrating milestones.

more later

TV, the brain and being sick.

I made a commitment in my last post to continue to blog more regularly - why? Well, I enjoy it. I also think its good for me, as it makes me write, and reflect! And I miss it when I don't do it. Three (four?) reasons right there...

So anyway, I have been sick and staying home for the last five days so have been watching some TV...

I have been appreciating the ABC TV documentary The War that Changed us, about the First World War. (Thanks Philip Adams for alerting me to this on Twitter.) Its content is mainly derived from letters and diaries, as well as historical reenactments of real events, which provide very personal stories of the horrors of WW1, including Gallipoli, trench warfare, and the unfathomable levels of death and injuries, both physical and emotional.Its very moving, and the singing is amazing. It brings the emotions to the fore so effectively.Hard to believe so many men volunteered to go to war. Unthinkable now, its only a small minority who would choose to go...

Australian Story this week featured a young man who caught a rare and hard to treat form of TB overseas, and had to spend many months in isolation, just like the days before antibiotics. He started making You Tube videos about his illness, often involving rapping. Which is kind of similar to how art therapy was developed by Adrian Hill, when he was recovering from TB in a Sanatorium in the 1930's in Britain. The inherent need to be creative (when sick or bored).

Creating a verbal narrative is also supposed to help us to heal from trauma. I went to the Childhood Trauma conference in Melbourne last month, hosted by the Australian Childhood Foundation. Big international stars like Dan Hughes, Pat Ogden, Dan Siegel, Allan Schore and Kim Golding were there. I particularly enjoyed the animated Dan Hughes, and Pat Ogden, who talks about Sensori-motor Psychotherapy.

Interpersonal neurobiology is so interesting, and so affirming of right brain therapies like expressive (arts) therapies. Needless to say, I have a few books on order since the conference. Last week I went to a two day workshop on the Social Brain, by Dr Pieter Roussow. Its the second workshop of his I have attended in the last few months. Its starting to make a lot of sense, although I struggle with the science.

Oven G/Love

There have been a couple of TV shows on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) recently, on ABC (Extreme Boot Camp) and SBS. The SBS Insight program talked to people with OCD, and outlined how it was much more serious than people who jokingly say they have it can probably imagine. Its more than having to have the same coloured pegs on your laundry. Its more like believing that if you don't do a whole lot of time consuming rituals, someone you love will die.

The neurobiology of mental illness is a new science; its not been generally integrated into psychology or psychiatry yet, and so, unsurprisingly, it was not mentioned on the Insight program. According to neuropsychotherapist Dr Pieter Rossouw, all mental illness probably stems from unhelpful 'avoid patterns', created through interaction withe our environment, rather than 'chemical imbalances in the brain', AKA the soup theory of neurobiology.

The brain gets stuck in a neural loop, based on avoidance of unpleasantness and pain. In neurobiological terms, the rituals and behaviours in OCD sufferers stem from, and then reinforce, neurological patterns that build up over time - neurons that fire together, wire together - which is why it can often get worse without help. Like depression and other forms of anxiety.

Hopefully, this explanation kind of makes sense. Meanwhile, as I said, I have been off sick from work with the flu. In my cotton woolly mental stupor I have been sewing (see counted cross stitch above - will eventually be a rabbit in a dress) and visiting Shiny Happy World for quilting tutorials. I wish Shiny Happy World really existed. Its such a cool website. I learnt a new stitch on my sewing machine today, from one of the tutes. The stitch with small and large zigzags, like a stat chart or a heart monitor! Great for applique.

thats me done for today.
more later

A community-focused rainy weekend

 

I am challenging myself to rediscover my blogging habit and this starts now!

So, the weekend involved FOUR community events. 

On Friday night, a group of art therapists (and UQ graduates) had their annual art exhibition opening in Paddington, at the Percolator Gallery.

On Saturday we visited the Coopers Plains Library, reopened after  extensive renovations, including the pencil posts, below....

 

And this surprising ceiling picnic in the kids area, above - too bad mine are all grown up.

Then we went to Annerley Uncovered, another community event in a nearby suburb, and ended up working on the barbecue, in the rain, for an hour or so.

Cycling between rain showers on Sunday morning, we found a mandala in the Botanic Gardens, and an almost deserted Goodwill Bridge for coffee.

Later on Sunday there was the Picnic in the Park to Save our Salisbury Parklands from property development.

Its been a whirlwind weekend, phew!

more later

gratitude, brains and bike number three

ACT* in a nutshell

With an increasingly long time between posts, I'm feeling more stuck about what to write, as so much has happened. Did the whole of June just go by?

I'm still having a big adjustment to working full time, in the same place, with the same people, five days a week. I'm already bored with myself saying this. I'm not sure if I'm working harder, but the consistency makes it seems so, and experiencing the team dynamics is challenging, at times. On the plus side, its helping me to get acclimatised more quickly than if I was there less often.

Today is a TOIL (Time Off In Lieu) day, which I am grateful for. And today I'm going to think about gratitude, which is a core component of positive psychology. Recently a good and long term friend of ours, Perry Else, died unexpectedly. He was a Professor of Play at Sheffield Hallam University, UK, which is just about the best job title you could have. Perry was indeed a kind, creative and playful man, and his death in his fifties is shocking. He speaks about his illness here, just three months before he died.

Being grateful for just being alive, then, seems a good place to start. And some other things, in a list, for brevity, in no particular order.

1. Dr Pieter Rossouw, another professor, who gives amazing workshops on neuroscience, trauma and psychotherapy. This is his website.
2. Good Vibrations, a fantastic new movie about man, Terri Hooley, who opened a music shop in Belfast during 'the troubles', and who embraced punk rock in the late 1970's. Made me feel like I'd live through a significant part of recent history, even though I was in Essex and London, not Belfast. The best line: 'New York had the haircuts, London had the trousers, but Belfast had the reason' (to appreciate the ethos of punk). So true.
3. Eat Street Markets. Maybe not the most gourmet experience, but a (high carb) dinner of empanadas, BBQ pork steamed dumplings, Japanese 'pizza', Okonomikake, and lime and coconut gelati would be hard to organise elsewhere. Makes me realise how much Brisbane has changed in the (almost) 25 years we have lived here.
4. Family - for everything, really. Just discovered some new relatives, this seems to happen to me fairly regularly. This time, we share the same (Irish) great grandmother, and our grandmothers were sisters. As usual, the reason we don't know each other is historical feuding, probably around something someone found shameful. At the time. Amazing.
5. Spin class, 6am, Mondays and Wednesdays, despite being given bike no 3 last week, which is the one that makes a loud ratchet noise when you stand up.And despite another annoying instructor, who turned my gears up without my permission...
6. Winter sunshine. And the Sunshine Coast.
7. Food Connect, which had a film night last week: the films were not really for a general audience, being about Latin American soil chemistry (well timed for the World Cup bandwagon, perhaps?), but the food was great. So was the ambiance, with over 100 people in the packing shed on a cold winters night, eating pulled pork rolls with red cabbage, yum... 
8. Supervision with my art therapy colleagues, much appreciated last night. Thank you.

 holding on tightly to something precious

1. Meditation
2. Sourdough

(Numbers restarted)

I have to go to work now. More later. Probably much later.

* Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

the courage to feel: sewing, and birds

 e for emotion: quilted fabric on card

I must write a hundred blog posts in my mind to each one I actually publish, these days. The next four weeks will be really busy, and then hopefully July a bit less so. But enough of the excuses. An interesting article on being really busy here...

from little things - fabric applique

I made this last weekend, which is a good reminder to me that I can make something quickly (and well) when I try. The applique, which still has some tacking in it, was made for our 10 year celebration of Masters of Mental Health - Art Therapy at the University of
Queensland, which we are hanging next week. And speaking of trees, I think this one needs a bird. I knew it wasn't quite finished...

Two movies about powerful emotions, and birds: 

Healing is a beautiful movie about, well, healing. A grownup Kes (1969) for the modern age, perhaps? It really is about the courage to feel, and the power of relationships, both personal and professional. The amazing Don Hany stars as an Iranian man in jail in Victoria, who finds his way back to life (no pun intended) with the help of Hugo Weaving's prison officer and an eagle called Yasmin. This movie may not be in cinemas much longer, as its showing at midday, never a good sign. It deserves better.

Broken Circle Breakdown is a Belgian movie about loss and grief, and country music. Its very sad, but as someone once said, grief is its own medicine, if you hang in there. There is a wonderful and powerful section of this movie about a child and a dead bird, which resonated with this blog post

- sometimes children just get it.

I could go on, but I should feed my birds (chooks), and dog, and go to work. 

More later.