Planet Earth is blue: Once you Find your Space, hold on to it!

This post has been a particularly long time coming, and has in fact been written many times already - in my mind, anyway... The image above is very fitting, as for me, blogging has always been about Finding my Space, (which is why I named my blogspot 'Virtual Art Space for Therapists: VAST). The photo is from a panel of graffitti I cycle past most Sundays, alongside the Brisbane river, which is an area of frantic building development at the moment. 

An anti-development statement

Whilst cycling on a Sunday morning, I often mentally compose blog posts, or at least brainstorm topics I want to blog about, as I pedal furiously over the Go-Between Bridge, up the steep (to me) hill into the City Botanic Gardens via QUT at Gardens Point, or along the Boardwalk at South Bank, by which time the excellent coffee from Brendan's on the (Goodwill) Bridge is kicking in.

Petunias - City Botanic Gardens

Before I go on, I have to ceremoniously observe that I have been blogging since January 2009! Although to be fair, I didn't really get going properly until late 2010/early 2011. Which makes it either 7 or 5 years ago, depending how you look at it: 180 posts and almost 20,000 'views' later....its something I have absolutely enjoyed and I wish could have kept up as regularly as the Sunday cycle...sadly the pressures of full time study and then full time work over the past 4 years have made that too difficult to maintain. 

Having my reflective space has been really helpful, however, and I think it has resulted in some big decisions and life-changing moments. Four years ago, I went back to university to study Social Work, so I could become a Mental Health Social Worker. And at the end of last year, I threw my eggs into one (ok maybe two) baskets, and resigned from my main, permanent job, which had been very stressful at times, and often frustrating. It was a tough decision, as it creates financial instability, and I had to leave some wonderful colleagues. But the stress involved was just not worth it. Instead I decided to just focus on private practice and art therapy education for now. And better self care. 

We lost this elderly canine family member, Jess, on Christmas Day, 2015. Earlier that day, we took her for a long walk on beautiful Peregian Beach. A happy memory from a very sad day. (I also recall that the last time we were at Peregian Beach for a holiday, our house was burgled. Next time I go there, I am going to be a bit nervous.) And going for walks are just not the same anymore.

 Creative supervision. 

This was the last time we (our peer supervision group) met in 2015, and my collage is about busyness, moving on, and the intimacy of the therapeutic space. The images are all sourced from frankie, which I subscribed to for a year or two, so I have a nice collection of back copies to use for collage (it took me a while to feel ok tearing them to bits, but now there is no looking back, literally). 

Lastly, a sock bat (unfinished). Its actually black in real life. 

So, more like a real bat.

Finally, I will briefly mention two books I've read in the last few weeks. (Its not all about sock creatures). The first is An astronaut's guide to life on earth by Chris Hadfield. Hadfield is the guy who sang a Space Oddity from the International Space Station. suddenly more poignant since the shocking (to the public, anyway) and sad recent death of creative genius David Bowie, a hero of my adolescence. Turns out Hadfield can write, too! Its about how he learned how to live on earth, based his experience as a fighter pilot and astronaut. With gratitude, mindfulness and humility, as it turns out. And being calm. 

In space you learn, through extensive hands on training, to be calm in any imaginable situation: calmness, and the capacity to problem solve, are essential for survival. You need to be constantly thinking 'what is the next thing that can kill me?' as Hadfield explains. And then fixing it. 

I am also enjoying Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, which is about creativity, and how to live a creative life. In this case, its also mainly about overcoming fear. Being creative is actually a lot less dangerous than space, thankfully. 

Seems like how to live is a common concern.

 Be calm, be humble, call your mum. 

More Graffitti, West End

more later.

October is the purplest month - and a significant anniversary approaches

Why Purple? When I first arrived in Australia, my first job was working at St Lucia, University of Queensland's main campus, processing student enrolments - paper ones! That was 25 years ago next month. I think we missed the best of the jacarandas that year, but the following year was amazing.

In October, jacaranda trees were flowering all over the place, signalling the arrival of spring and - exams! I learnt that this association was strong for those who grew up here, as it meant that the end of the academic year was approaching.

And, yes, jacaranda time means exams, for some and for me, marking...and graduation of our Masters of Mental Health Art Therapy students. At UQ - small world.

My previous experience of jacarandas, was the Jacaranda Garden Cafe in Brixton, London, where I used to live - now Craft Beer, apparently.

Some more slightly purple artwork.

This time last year, I was stressed out by jacaranda time. I was just finishing my Masters of Social Work. I have (as a result) been working full time since March, and feeling stressed in a different way. No assignments, yay, just adjusting to spending more time at work, and having to ignore the garden, blogging, and other creative pursuits most of the time. In a way, this is harder, as there is no 'end' in sight - life (unless you are a teacher) does not come packaged in semester-sized chunks - so noticing the great (big and small) stuff everyday is more important than ever.

Remembering to be grateful, I am appreciating my TOIL day off today, anticipating being on holiday in Tasmania soon, (first holiday without children, as they both are now officially adults) and listening to music (a mix tape, almost!) for this year's Woodford Folk Festival.

I enjoy reading anything by Michael Nobbs, because he writes about how to still be creative with less time or energy available. Michael reminds me to notice the creative milestones, which signify progress towards our small achievements.For me, this is almost 4 years of (fairly regular) blogging, since December 2010. 170 posts, which is over 40 a year. And almost 14,000 views. 

In this new phase of life -  I need to remember that maintaining good self-care is still very important. Eating well, sleeping well, keeping fit and staying connected. Noticing the good stuff. And of course, regularly celebrating milestones.

more later

sick sick sick - and its Spring!

outside Logan Regional Art Gallery - this is so cool!

I spent two days last week in Logan, at a Child and Youth Mental Health Conference, Priority One. It was a thought-provoking conference, with a creativity theme, but I was surrounded by people coughing and sneezing...

'headache' - how it feels, blurry and colourless 

...so it had to happen eventually - just as I was congratulating myself on getting through the winter without a single cold or flu virus - I had a lingering headache for three days, followed by a weekend where I barely got out of bed until Sunday lunchtime - and suddenly, its Spring!

'baby shower owl' - stuffed fabric toy/pillow

This owl was supposed to come to a baby shower with me this weekend, but sadly we didn't make it. I will have to deliver him another time...

I did manage to see a couple of quirky films this week on DVD (great for sick days). Junebug and You and me and everyone we know. Junebug is definitely the less weird of the two...plus it has Embeth Davidtz in it, a city slicker who collects 'Outsider art', and who played a patient undergoing couple therapy in Season 1 of In Treatment...

Plus, the September Issue on ABC1 was a disappointment last night, despite the beautiful frocks and shoots... If this is the reality, give me fiction (the Devil wears Prada) every time.

Plus, I put in two applications today, for further study. 

more later.

no control planet

looking at planet earth with curiosity - pastel and watercolour

I have forgone a week of blogging due to a wonderful family visit: it was worth it, but I have missed this space! 

The image is one I made earlier - about two years ago - when I was doing an Artella-land e-course in self-portraits called 'me-flections'. [Artella e-courses are full of bad puns]. 

The image, of me looking at the planet with curiosity and concern, is relevant right now, because Australia is (possibly, teeteringly,) on the verge of introducing a price on carbon, as announced by Prime Minister Julia Gillard last Sunday. 

Coincidentally, my sister, who is a climate scientist, was visiting Australia, and she gave a talk at UQ last week, which I managed to get the gist of, about the inherent difficulties of making accurate predictions of the consequences of future climate change, such as sea level rise, based on scientific analysis of past data. Too many gaps in the data, too many variables, to get a totally firm answer. Hard science, it turns out, is also subject to uncertainties, just like 'soft' science such as 'does art therapy work and how/why?' One other (obvious) point I managed to grasp, is that there is 'no control planet' - we only have this one, so we need to look after it...basically the industrialised age has been a huge uncontrolled experiment, and the results are emergent: they will only become clearer over the next century or two.

Human beings don't like uncertainty. So we create our own narratives to avoid this (to fill the void?): the Australian media (mainly owned by Rupert Murdoch, who is, coincidentally, teetering on the verge of being totally discredited) have been kindly telling their version of the climate story, which is that a carbon tax is unaffordable, unwarranted, unfair and no doubt also totally un-Australian. 

Yes its been an interesting couple of weeks. 

Timely as ever, my friend Amanda, who inspired me to write this blog, asks 'why do you blog?' in her latest post. Part of the answer is here: great-advice-for-creatives - its about having a space for creating, writing and thinking practice - just doing it, despite its imperfections and the anxiety and the thoughts that its self-indulgent nonsense...however it has helped me to have a theme, which is to continue 'doing what matters', to keep focusing on my behavioural goals, which I outlined at the end of December. [Interestingly this is the post that gets the most 'hits', according to the stats, (which I confess, I am slightly addicted to reading).] 

After six months, I am ready to review some of my goals, but that is going to have to wait. 

Funnily enough I never seem to be short of material...in fact I would like to write more often, but time seems to disappear like sand through the hour glass...or is it just easier to slump in front of the tv at night when I am tired...?

On another matter. Yesterday I made an almost vegan* chocolate pie, which didn't taste of tofu. Yum.

Its good to be back. 

more later.

* the chocolate had dairy in it

balancing acts

Today I am thinking about the work-life balance that we all struggle to 'get right'.  In between weekend chores such as changing the sheets, doing a load of washing, making rye bread and granola, weeding the garden, vacuuming the house, cleaning mould off my shoes, and fixing the dripper irrigation system running off our rainwater tank, I also manged to sit down and do the Saturday cryptic crossword, walk the dog, drink 2 cups of tea, have lunch, start a sewing project for work (making a stuffed purple elephant) and do this drawing:

the owl and the parrot

The owl and the parrot appeared in a previous post, in my painting about meditation. They represented the observing self (owl) and the chattering mind (parrot). In ACT, we need to pay more attention to the observing self, and less to the chattering mind. In this oil pastel drawing however, the owl represents work, and the parrot, play. They are looking in opposite directions, but they seem to me to be complementary.

In what we call the work-life balance, there is a suggestion that work and life are oppositional. Does it have to be this way? Perhaps work and play (play being more like the opposite of work than life) can also be complementary. I know that when I am faced with a huge list of things to do, I need to have breaks or rewards, to help me get through the list. This is easier to implement at home than at work, where I tend to be more focused (although computers provide easy access to numerous reward systems). I am lucky as my work as an art therapist involves elements of play, indeed I provide play therapy for some of my younger clients.

I read a review of a book which I found disturbing yesterday. Called Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, by Amy Chua: it apparently describes a Chinese mother's attempts to bring up her children to be overachievers like herself, by cramming their days with study and violin practice. There seemed to be no time for the children to play, and their protests (when they didn't feel like studying) were sometimes met with threats. I wondered about the psychological harm these children might suffer as a result of having no time to play.

As the first month of this AT/ACT challenge to 'be present, open up, and do what matters' is almost up, I have decided to revisit my original behavioural goals and briefly make a comment about how I have been doing on each one:

Family

My aim is to spend more time doing family things. We had a big family lunch last weekend at the Sunshine Coast, with my parents and my brother's family, and we have already booked our christmas break for the end of the year, never been that organised before. neither of these events was organised by me, but I am happily going with the flow! Also,  just heard that my lovely, brainy sister is visiting this winter from UK, yay!

Health
I am going to the gym regularly again, aiming for 3-4 times a week, including one session with a personal trainer. I have been continuing with my RCT, trying out red clover tablets for menopause symptoms. I have also been to my new female GP twice and really like her - this is important! She is a very good communicator.  My sleeping pattern is reasonably good, and I am continuing to meditate every day.

Environment
I have recycled and donated clothes and linen for people affected by the flood. We continue to compost, recycle leftovers for chooks, recycle waste, and collect rainwater (as much as the tank can hold, anyway). We have solar panels and solar hot water, so we are generating our own electricity when the sun shines.  S bought a new car this month: it runs on diesel like the previous one, but I could probably do better at using public transport some of the time, or my bicycle!


Community
This has been a huge theme this month, due to the flood. I have volunteered to do counselling for flood-affected people. I have had my pyjama angel interview, and just need to do the training, so I can be matched with a foster child. Today I am going to the Reggae for Recovery concert. Its a long time since I went to anything like this, but S loves reggae, and it seemed like a fun way to help raise money. It will be a nice reminder too of our past life in Brixton.

Friendship
Lots of  communication with friends since christmas, mainly on facebook and by email, and it has been good to catch up with friends face to face, whenever the opportunity presented itself.

Creativity,
I have done lots of sewing, making things for the house, altering clothes, and making containers of all kinds. I have also been doing drawing and painting for this blog. And the blog itself has become a valued outlet for my creativity.

Leisure
S and I went for a cycle yesterday, its his big thing, but I am trying to participate in that too, a bit. We are going to the concert together today. Often I just enjoy being at home, and watching films. Saw most of Horton hears a Who on TV last night - I love Dr Seuss! A few good messages there, about perceptions of reality, community action (good and bad) and support for the smallest in society. One thing bother me though - why was the kangaroo the baddie?. And the other day I saw I am Sam - sounds Seuss-ish, but is actually a movie about a disabled man (played by Sean Penn) and his rights as a father to be allowed to look after his daughter. 

Frugality
Managed not to buy any clothes so far this year. Only bought a hat for $20, when I was at the coast without one - my skin being more important on that occasion than my principles. I haven't bought any books online, either. I have bought some things - a new digital camera - well worth it as I have been using it almost every day, and it supports my creative goal. I paid for my son to go to camp - he got a lot out of that - and bought all his back to school stuff. And oh yes, S bought a new car. I wasn't sure about that. It wasn't my preference, but I admit its good to drive. He isn't trying to be frugal, clearly.

I am going to leave the rest for next post, as I am going to take the dog for a walk now, before it gets too hot.

P.S. I am reading Obama's Dreams from my Father. He is a good writer, and seems honest and thoughtful. This book is about his early life before politics.

more later.

Creativity and happiness

feeling joy

One thing I have noticed, since I started writing regular posts, is how often my moods change during a single day. This image is an attempt to 'capture' a happy mood. I used wax crayons shaped like pebbles - very nice to use - on watercolour paper, and rubbed them randomly over four different rubbing plates, which have a raised surface - its a bit like doing brass rubbings. I then painted over it with yellow and orange dyetex, one of my favourite art materials.

The wax resists the dyetex, so you can build up layers, something I often incoporate into my artwork, whether it is with pastels, paint, collage or applique (in sewing). I also like the effect of totally covering the surface to create a 'colour field', somehow it makes me think of the 'wall of sound' that Motown music is well known for - an example of my mild synaesthesia, which is when the senses are interwoven, so that you 'see' colours when you think of letters, (for example my 'A's are usually yellow!).

Moments of joy are often fleeting, but doing things that matter to me, makes me happy  - not just at the time, but also in anticipation and in retrospect. This is a list of some of the things I did in the last few days that continue to feed my happiness and sense of well-being:

the 'swimming pool' at GOMA

• Went to GOMA (Gallery of Modern Art - possibly influenced by MOMA?) to see the current 21st century exhibition. This image of the pool is a visual trick as it creates the illusion of people being underwater...Outside, ironically, it was pouring with rain, again.
• I cleaned out my fridge. Ok this one was not so great at the time, but felt great after it was done! Lots of food for the chooks was forthcoming as well...
• Writing this blog. Both aspects, making art and writing, are things I have always wanted to do more of. So glad I thought of a way to do both at once...also
• Poetry. I saw a trailer for the movie Invictus, about Nelson Mandela, and how he inspired the South African rugby team, whilst watching a DVD. I wondered aloud where the quote: "I am the master of my fate/I am the captain of my soul" came from - without looking, I found the answer in this blog the following day. (William Ernest Henley, 1849-1903). For the Jungians, that is an example of synchronicity. And another blogger wrote me a haiku, when I emailed him with feedback on what he had written, which is very exciting. I'll share it another time.
• Participating in the on-line community, which I am starting to experience, in the examples above.
• Going to the gym. Without fail, it lifts my mood, and even when it hurts afterwards, which is often at my age, I am glad I went. In fact I am going to body pump in under an hour, so need to finish here.
• Watching the sunset - this was two nights ago - I have intensified the colour saturation to show the rainbow that was visible at the time, but harder to capture at twilight on camera.

rainbow sunset

That one speaks for itself. More later.