Planet Earth is blue: Once you Find your Space, hold on to it!

This post has been a particularly long time coming, and has in fact been written many times already - in my mind, anyway... The image above is very fitting, as for me, blogging has always been about Finding my Space, (which is why I named my blogspot 'Virtual Art Space for Therapists: VAST). The photo is from a panel of graffitti I cycle past most Sundays, alongside the Brisbane river, which is an area of frantic building development at the moment. 

An anti-development statement

Whilst cycling on a Sunday morning, I often mentally compose blog posts, or at least brainstorm topics I want to blog about, as I pedal furiously over the Go-Between Bridge, up the steep (to me) hill into the City Botanic Gardens via QUT at Gardens Point, or along the Boardwalk at South Bank, by which time the excellent coffee from Brendan's on the (Goodwill) Bridge is kicking in.

Petunias - City Botanic Gardens

Before I go on, I have to ceremoniously observe that I have been blogging since January 2009! Although to be fair, I didn't really get going properly until late 2010/early 2011. Which makes it either 7 or 5 years ago, depending how you look at it: 180 posts and almost 20,000 'views' later....its something I have absolutely enjoyed and I wish could have kept up as regularly as the Sunday cycle...sadly the pressures of full time study and then full time work over the past 4 years have made that too difficult to maintain. 

Having my reflective space has been really helpful, however, and I think it has resulted in some big decisions and life-changing moments. Four years ago, I went back to university to study Social Work, so I could become a Mental Health Social Worker. And at the end of last year, I threw my eggs into one (ok maybe two) baskets, and resigned from my main, permanent job, which had been very stressful at times, and often frustrating. It was a tough decision, as it creates financial instability, and I had to leave some wonderful colleagues. But the stress involved was just not worth it. Instead I decided to just focus on private practice and art therapy education for now. And better self care. 

We lost this elderly canine family member, Jess, on Christmas Day, 2015. Earlier that day, we took her for a long walk on beautiful Peregian Beach. A happy memory from a very sad day. (I also recall that the last time we were at Peregian Beach for a holiday, our house was burgled. Next time I go there, I am going to be a bit nervous.) And going for walks are just not the same anymore.

 Creative supervision. 

This was the last time we (our peer supervision group) met in 2015, and my collage is about busyness, moving on, and the intimacy of the therapeutic space. The images are all sourced from frankie, which I subscribed to for a year or two, so I have a nice collection of back copies to use for collage (it took me a while to feel ok tearing them to bits, but now there is no looking back, literally). 

Lastly, a sock bat (unfinished). Its actually black in real life. 

So, more like a real bat.

Finally, I will briefly mention two books I've read in the last few weeks. (Its not all about sock creatures). The first is An astronaut's guide to life on earth by Chris Hadfield. Hadfield is the guy who sang a Space Oddity from the International Space Station. suddenly more poignant since the shocking (to the public, anyway) and sad recent death of creative genius David Bowie, a hero of my adolescence. Turns out Hadfield can write, too! Its about how he learned how to live on earth, based his experience as a fighter pilot and astronaut. With gratitude, mindfulness and humility, as it turns out. And being calm. 

In space you learn, through extensive hands on training, to be calm in any imaginable situation: calmness, and the capacity to problem solve, are essential for survival. You need to be constantly thinking 'what is the next thing that can kill me?' as Hadfield explains. And then fixing it. 

I am also enjoying Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, which is about creativity, and how to live a creative life. In this case, its also mainly about overcoming fear. Being creative is actually a lot less dangerous than space, thankfully. 

Seems like how to live is a common concern.

 Be calm, be humble, call your mum. 

More Graffitti, West End

more later.

Bluesfest, blogging and perspective taking: how it all helps

 

 Bluesfest acrobats

Seduced perhaps by the immediacy of Instagram, I have been finding it hard to get back to this blog - sort of a blog-lag? (My Instagram name is eclair57, if you want to  find me there...)

Other excuses could include: starting a new job recently, and having spent a bit more time out and about having fun...over two long weekends in a row...however, the real added value for me in being away, is being able to put things in perspective, and this is a really helpful skill, for those of us who tend to be anxious at times. Oliver Burkeman describes it well here. Giving new meaning to the devil is in the detail...

 Bluesfest good friday lantern parade 1

Very uncharacteristically, I went to Bluesfest at Byron Bay for the first time ever, having almost given up on live music about 20 years ago. Apart from Billy Bragg, of course. Why? Too loud, too annoying to stand up for long periods, too unsure what I really liked. I did start to challenge this negative perspective, by going to Woodford early this year, though. And, come to think of it, Reggae for Recovery three years ago, after the 2011 Brisbane floods.

Well, perhaps this new job can also assist me in my leisure pursuits: inspired by my new colleagues, I decided to plunge into Bluesfest on good friday. It happened to be the 25th anniversary, so the line-up was particularly impressive. S was also willing, which helped.

 Bluesfest good friday lantern parade 2

Hard (for me) to capture live music in images, especially on a smartphone, but it was really good fun, and we saw some great acts, including: India Arie, Aaron Neville and Dyson, Cloher and Stringer, three female singer songwriters from Melbourne. Not to mention Rockwiz (a live music t.v. quiz, for the non-Aussie readers), Boz Scaggs and Joss Stone. Phew. 

Then the following night, we saw KC and the Sunshine Band, a real blast from the seventies, at the Tivoli in Brisbane. Wow, that was also really fun. At 63, KC has some health issues, but he is still boogie-ing on down. (His best joke was that he was thinking of changing his name to KFC...oh dear!)

I just spent another long weekend away, this time at Springbrook National Park, in the Gold Cost Hinterland: a beautiful rainforest environment.  We walked and relaxed, and last night, we saw two planets, Saturn and Mars, and Alpha Centuri (nearest star) through the Springbrook Research Observatory telescope, before the clouds set in for the night. Now that's taking perspective!

Looking at very old trees can have the same effect.

  ancient Antarctic beeches at Springbrook National Park 'Best of all Lookouts'

As can this:

 

Perspective-taking: we can either focus on the detail...

 ...or the big picture

Blogging also helps a lot with perspective-taking, as do both art and mindfulness, as they all develop capacity to observe and reflect as well as react. 

Meanwhile I have been making something special for my old work colleagues: this is a sneak preview.

 tree of hearts detail

On the work front, I am slowly adjusting to my new environment. I have booked to go to the International Trauma Conference in Melbourne in August. Trauma, at least, is a given, and a source of continuity. How comforting!

more later.

paying and giving attention, 'kids on speed' and new beginnings

 

This is a great picture to illustrate the recent ABC program series about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder,  'Kids on Speed' (available for a few days only). The program demonstrated some really interesting family dynamics, and showed how drugs alone don't solve the problem, although they can help if used in conjunction with 'Parent Assisted Therapy', which means retraining parents to manage 'problem' behaviours more effectively. Another factor in ADHD and other behavioural problems is giving positive attention to children, which seems to be increasingly difficult as families become busier and busier.

 

 This sign is displayed at our favourite coffee spot, on the Goodwill Bridge, in Brisbane. Not a good way to manage behavioural problems.

  digitally altered photo of the moon one night last week.

I've been in the gradual process of leaving my much loved work place, and getting ready to start my new job. Next week is the start of the first semester of the university year, so I will also be teaching once a week for about 12 weeks. 

 

patchwork mandala pattern, an aid to mindful meditation?

 

Trying to stay mindful is incredibly challenging during periods of change and instability, I'm finding. 

I drove the car into a trolley post at Woolworths on Sunday, due to not paying attention (the car tells me when I am about to hit something, and I ignored it). Oops. A surprising amount of damage was done.

more later

the Yin and Yang of study: How mindfulness and combat helped me get through social work

meditation cushion

I made this cushion as a prototype, and stuffed it with two old pillows - still a bit soggy so think it needs to be smaller and more compact.  I have trouble getting my knees lower than my hips (when sitting on the ground).

I heard a program on RN the other day about an article disputing the 'validity' of yin and yang and Traditional Chinese Medicine, suggesting it was all an invention of Chairman Mao, trying to 'sell' Chinese culture to the West.. These kind of debates are always tricky, and the point about it for me was that it made me think about how the idea of opposites is very appealing. And in fact the calmness, stability and balance we crave is possibly a reaction to the craziness we live in much of the time. 

Speaking of which, this Blogger Dashboard is becoming quite unstable, flickery and annoying, and if it continues for much longer I will have to break up with it and move to Word Press or something more user friendly.

So I am also reflecting on what helped me get through a two year Masters program in Social Work, finally and totally finished last Friday with an anxious 8-minute rave about why we are ready to be social workers. We are? Sort of...

And I believe that in the last challenging semester in particular, a combination of mindfulness practice and intense exercise (body combat and spin classes) helped me get through. And of course, although they seem like opposites, they aren't really. They are both body based, and provided a welcome relief from so much thinking, thinking, thinking.

I acknowledged in the MBSR class last night, that I have a slight fear of what will happen if I stop thinking completely (which is a goal of meditation, in so far as meditation can have goal), to which the teacher responded with Decartes' 'I think therefore I am' - taking me back to my first year of undergraduate study on the philosophy of the Enlightenment: I don't particularly like this concept, but I acknowledge it is so often an experiential reality.

 

Perhaps this is the antidote I am searching for - Drawing your Life - looking forward to  doing this now I have some time - in theory at least. 

 triple Z building, Fortitude Valley, Brisbane - a good sort of craziness?

the owl and the pussycat went to sea...in a beautiful pea-green jetski - more craziness

 limited palette

 
rain - finally, we got some

Yes I admit, drawing also helped me get through. It provided a good way to process difficult experiences, and to move beyond thoughts. Studying social work has made me more convinced than ever of the value of art therapy. As an emotional outlet, cultural expression, and mindfulness tool. 

But mainly I am relieved its all over. Some days I never thought I'd get there (here). Phew.

more later.

reno and review

not good enough?

Today is the beginning of the new financial year, and also the first day of the long-awaited carbon tax. So far, and contrary to popular opinion, the sky has not fallen in.

Time, I thought, to review this blog, which is now over 18 months old. So firstly, there has been a style renovation - not totally sure if I like it, but it will do for now - and a revisit of my original goals, which were to cultivate the following: 

• family,
• health,
• environment,
• community,
• friendship,
• creativity,
• leisure,
• frugality,
• therapy,
• home,
• emotional growth
• communication
• spirituality

These are all still a good summary of my intentions. In the past year and a half I have:

• shopped less
• appreciated my family and friends
• started a social work degree
• made more art
• cooked lots of new dishes
• started a veggie garden
• become a 'pyjama angel'
• had a personal trainer
• been to the gym 
• used public transport more often
• said 'no' to some things
• hesitated less
• done a 3 day walk
• got orthotics
• stopped hearing noises in my ears
• meditated most days
• started a girls' sewing group

I am still on the other hand:

• not losing weight
• having hot flushes
• buying books - via both the internet and real bookshops
• cranky sometimes
• watching tv most nights
• etc. etc. 

There is always room for improvement. I like this definition of mindfulness, by Jon Kabat Zinn: 

Coming to terms with how things are. 

How true.

space, possibly

Thanks for dropping in. I really enjoy reading your comments!

More later.

how to...enjoy your moment in time

'how to...enjoy your moment in time': pastels, paint and collage

This post is taken directly from another (closed) blog I am participating in at the moment, and the directive was to make two images, the one on the left is about thinking "I'm so busy", and the one on the left is about the feeling of being busy.

The left hand image (thinking about 'I'm busy'), which is a mixture of collage and pastels,  is organised, square-ish and wordy. It starts from the middle with the words: "How to..." and a series of verbs from magazines. Busyness is about doing stuff, so verbs seemed to be what I needed. It reflects the anxiety of trying to do things well. It is also about thoughts, and the fact that busyness if often about over-thinking. Do I know "how to..."?

It spirals outwards and reminds me of my previous image. I like the colours and the final result. The outside is different from the text-y area, it is more like the other side.

The spiral is also a motif in the right hand image. The right hand image ('feeling busy') is a swirl of movement using paint, pastels and collage. This is how being busy feels. It is looser and free-er than the first image. It also has a contrast between the inside, the heart/core, and the outside swirls.

In this one, the heart shape contains the words 'your moment in time'. This is a comment about trying to be mindful in day to day busyness, and this experience of mindfulness can be something of an 'anchor' in the whirlwind of activity (like the eye of the storm perhaps). So the heart is anchored by the blue and purple stripes, to stop it getting carried off by the whirlwind. It is also a reminder that we only have a short time on this planet, this is our brief moment, and we can ignore/forget that if we get caught up in mindless activity.

more later.

this is how it is

'how it is' - wax crayon, watercolour paints, oil pastel, tissue paper.

Next week we are starting to run a group based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Art Therapy, in my (therapy) workplace. The image above is from one of the exercises I was trying out in preparation. To paint (or draw) how it is, and how you would like it to be (life). I have only done the first one. I really like it! does this mean I really like how my life is? Pretty much, yes (more than our clients I think). I enjoy the variety, the colour, the overall sense of cohesion achieved by layering and use of patterns. The good interactions with other people...

How could it be better? Well, less busy-ness, at least in this image...although less procrastination would achieve the same goal. Less stress. And more moments being mindful.

hibiscus

I went to an ACT interest group this week, for the first time. I really enjoyed it in the end, although getting there was an ordeal. We did an experiential activity (as you usually do, in ACT) about our clinical work, and letting go of the expectation of having to solve/help/fix, and instead, just being 'really present' with a client*. I experienced this as a great relief.

This is a link to an interesting neuroscience blog, by Jonah Lehrer, on the link between depression and thinking.

Jess in Toohey Forest

Dogs are really good at being in the moment.

On a more practical note, I am continuing to empty the freezer and cupboards, and use things up. Today I made rice pudding with some rather old calrose rice, and a vanilla pod whose use by date was 2007. It looks pretty good. I also cooked some pearl barley, for a minestrone soup. (I haven't eaten barley for years, possibly decades.) I have ordered another Jamie Oliver book (I already have 7) from the bookclub at work, for only $20. Its the thirty minute meals, as seen on tv. Shameless.

We went out for dinner on Friday, to Enoteca, as it was a sort of anniversary, but not quite.

I was hoping to post more often this week and failed totally. I think part of the problem is that I associate my laptop with uni work, and so I avoid opening it at home after a big day at work.

I find tv more relaxing.

*no way to say this without sounding corny.

more on all this later.