how should we live now?

 escape hatch, QUT bike path

Early this week we went to a talk by Bob Brown, ex-leader of the Green party, at the State Library, as part of the Brisbane Writers Festival. The theme was something like, Intelligence, Stupidity and how Australia got the future it voted for (my interpretation), delivered just an hour after Clive Palmer made his 'maiden' speech in federal parliament.

We are living in interesting times.

And the inevitable question: if we can't save the planet, how should we live now?

Mr Brown's advice: travel, enjoy life, and sleep out under the stars. 

His favourite place? The Tarkine wilderness in Southern Tasmania.

 south bank, brisbane

 under the bridge at south bank, brisbane

 eucalypt forest, Mt Tamborine

 botanic gardens, Brisbane

I always liked Voltaire's ending to Candide: we must cultivate our garden. What else?

On a lighter note, its been almost a movie marathon in the past few weeks. Celebrating the end of studying...the following five movies in six weeks:

1. enough said
2. about time
3. one chance
4. the sister
5. 20 feet from stardom

All well worth the time.

I have a job interview. And I have almost completed my Mental Health Social Worker application.

MBSR course finishes this week. Homework: do something that is a small step towards a positive change.

Are we brave enough for this?

And something a bit challenging: having a party!

more later.

the Yin and Yang of study: How mindfulness and combat helped me get through social work

meditation cushion

I made this cushion as a prototype, and stuffed it with two old pillows - still a bit soggy so think it needs to be smaller and more compact.  I have trouble getting my knees lower than my hips (when sitting on the ground).

I heard a program on RN the other day about an article disputing the 'validity' of yin and yang and Traditional Chinese Medicine, suggesting it was all an invention of Chairman Mao, trying to 'sell' Chinese culture to the West.. These kind of debates are always tricky, and the point about it for me was that it made me think about how the idea of opposites is very appealing. And in fact the calmness, stability and balance we crave is possibly a reaction to the craziness we live in much of the time. 

Speaking of which, this Blogger Dashboard is becoming quite unstable, flickery and annoying, and if it continues for much longer I will have to break up with it and move to Word Press or something more user friendly.

So I am also reflecting on what helped me get through a two year Masters program in Social Work, finally and totally finished last Friday with an anxious 8-minute rave about why we are ready to be social workers. We are? Sort of...

And I believe that in the last challenging semester in particular, a combination of mindfulness practice and intense exercise (body combat and spin classes) helped me get through. And of course, although they seem like opposites, they aren't really. They are both body based, and provided a welcome relief from so much thinking, thinking, thinking.

I acknowledged in the MBSR class last night, that I have a slight fear of what will happen if I stop thinking completely (which is a goal of meditation, in so far as meditation can have goal), to which the teacher responded with Decartes' 'I think therefore I am' - taking me back to my first year of undergraduate study on the philosophy of the Enlightenment: I don't particularly like this concept, but I acknowledge it is so often an experiential reality.

 

Perhaps this is the antidote I am searching for - Drawing your Life - looking forward to  doing this now I have some time - in theory at least. 

 triple Z building, Fortitude Valley, Brisbane - a good sort of craziness?

the owl and the pussycat went to sea...in a beautiful pea-green jetski - more craziness

 limited palette

 
rain - finally, we got some

Yes I admit, drawing also helped me get through. It provided a good way to process difficult experiences, and to move beyond thoughts. Studying social work has made me more convinced than ever of the value of art therapy. As an emotional outlet, cultural expression, and mindfulness tool. 

But mainly I am relieved its all over. Some days I never thought I'd get there (here). Phew.

more later.

21 bad habits: noticing the 'not so good'

Rabbits to illustrate Habits

Thanks to my friend Phil, for inadvertently suggesting this blog topic, by commenting on how I had such 'healthy habits'...feeling a bit of a goody-goody. Well, sorry to disillusion you but I also have some unhealthy ones. Here is a 'short' list:

1. Losing my temper - this happened only yesterday, after finding out I had no money in the account I normally withdraw cash from.
2. Watching TV indiscriminately - well, within reason, I draw the line at most commercial TV - but sometimes, that is all I am capable of. Doesn't usually take long before I am asleep in front of it, most nights. Which kind of proves its pointlessness.
3. Speaking of which, insomnia. Don't get me started. Once started, its a hard one to break. The MBSR is helping, as is no longer being on placement.
4. Drinking alcohol.
5. Drinking coffee.
6. Ignoring the dog, or telling her off for whingeing (she's a staffy, and they are known for it, so hardly her fault - its genetic!). 
7. Complaining in general. At the end of yoga class, we get to pick a card with some sort of 'advice'. Well, I've picked the same card: 'Give up the need to complain'  - on at least two occasions. The universe has spoken.
8. Picking at my cuticles, urgh.
9. Not rinsing the dishes after washing up. I am trying to work on this one. 
10. Generally, not cleaning the house often enough.
11. Being untidy, especially in a creative episode. Pins, threads, crayons, paper, books, scattered to all corners of the house.
12. Not ringing people unless I have to.
13. Not finishing cups of tea. I am also working on this one.
14. Overthinking. Just starting to realise how common this one is. The unavoidable bad habit of the human race.
15. Shopping. Usually I am quite good at not doing this unless I have to - but sometimes I get on a roll. I went to Officeworks for printer ink and came back with star shaped candles, pens, erasers, silver star shapes, printed sticky tape, and christmas wrapping paper. Oh, and printer ink. A classic example. And yes, they were mostly on special. But anyway.
16. Then coming home and ordering books online, (not from an independent bookshop). 
17. Cooking variations of the same meal, too often. Usually involves garlic, onion, tomato, canellini beans, some meat, and whatever else is in the fridge.
18. Eating chocolate. And sugar.
19. And meat. 
20. And gluten (could be provoking my osteo-arthritis)
21. Generating lists of negative self-talk...

Surprising how quickly I created this list, or maybe not, considering #14. Homework this week for MBSR is noticing our 'not so good' experiences, as a way of increasing awareness of how we tend to avoid emotional pain.  So perhaps this is somehow helpful. At least I can feel good about doing my homework.

more later

MBSR: Gratitude challenge

Last week, I started an eight week course in mindfulness (another one!), called Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, or MBSR, (link to previous post) run by Openground. I have been meaning to do this since I did the weekend introductory course  in June 2012. Its a good way to unwind, after almost two years of  non-stop studying.

The course includes a lot of home practice, especially the body scan and mindfulness of the breath.

This is what the body scan looks like. Its better from the inside! I struggled with this at first, but now I am getting to really like it.

 For homework this week, we have to start a daily gratitude journal. So this is going to be mine.

1. I was grateful for signing up for this course, second class yesterday.

2. Yesterday, I was grateful for more rainbow mural painting at my placement. So near to being finished, which is very exciting. No photos, as it is in a secure facility.

3. I am also grateful for the rain yesterday. It was desperately needed, everything was so brown and tired.The rain came after the rainbow, not before!

more later

'Hairy-lastics' and 'Feeling Felt'

'hairy-lastics'

This intriguing object is a hair elastic adorned with felt dreadlocks, which I played around with on Thursday after reading about them on Wabi-Sabi Wanderings' lovely blog. I then took this newly-acquired skill to our teenage Girls in Stitches group on Friday, and we made these rather chunkier dreadlocks, seen here with a piece of unfinished flat felt... 

It strikes me that the felting process makes a rather nice metaphor for understanding the neurobiology of attachment. The wool strands are joined together by soapy friction, which can remind us that neurons that fire together, wire together, so that by repeated relational experiences with our parents or caregivers, our attachment styles are developed.

In a similar vein, Art Therapy and Clinical Neuroscience, edited by Noah Hass-Cohen has a chapter on attachment, in which art therapists create patterns of attachment using textile art to make illustrative books. Clearly there is something in this textile stuff...its just so tactile and touchy-feely.

sunflowers

I have been at a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction training for Health Professionals weekend since Friday night. Its now Sunday night, and in the morning I am going to Stanthorpe on the Queensland Granite Belt (i.e. its going to be cold) for a few days with some of the family. The MBSR was great, both affirming and inspiring, and I would like to do more training and a retreat, sometime, when I have some free time and space. 

Practising MBSR should improve a therapist's attunement to her clients, or in other words, the client feels that their feelings have been felt. 

In the meantime, I need to get some sleep soon. 

more later. 

'a place(ment) to belong (to)'

'a place to belong' - wax crayon, textas and dyetex.

I had my first placement experience last week at A Place to Belong. I don't start officially until July, so this was a bit of an early appetiser. 

I have worked (and lived, as a young child) in many different therapeutic communities, so the process of sharing a meal, sitting in a circle, and talking about stuff, was familiar to me. What was unique is that this genuinely seems to be an 'organically grown' community, which the community members really value. The qualities that were stated several times were safety, support, and a place for feelings to be expressed. 

I am so excited about this placement. I can't wait for it to start. 

In my image, I have tried to capture the organic feel of the community. I notice that the words are hard to read, perhaps this reflects the 'topsy-turvy' feeling of not knowing who is a client, who is a volunteer, and who is a staff member. Although this did/will became clearer. And there are several other students, which I think could make it potentially a very supportive and enjoyable placement. I feel slightly disoriented (or 'topsy-turvy') by being in a student role, after being a worker and a lecturer for so long. but on the other hand, this feels like less pressure and responsibility, which I think I could enjoy. 

In the image I used some wax crayons I had melted down and poured into tiny muffin pans, to make new multi-coloured crayons. I guess I am also being melted down and recreated. 

Its been a long time between posts. The reason this time, is my son's laptop having a meltdown in the middle of block exams, and me having to relinquish mine for several days last week. But I have almost, almost, almost finished my academic marking for the semester. Time for a holiday.

Tomorrow, I am having a massage. This weekend, I am doing an MBSR course for Health Professionals, should be a really nice way to start my week off...

more later.

Transit of Venus, Magic Flute, Caitlin Moran, and how to live

photo by AP/Kevin Frayer, Guardian website

Great photo of the transit of Venus taken in Agra, India, showing a bird landing on a (small) bit of the Taj Mahal, with sun and Venus in the background.

rosella: winter flower/fruit?

On Friday, we saw a colourful production by Opera Australia of Mozart's The Magic Flute at QPAC. Not being opera buffs, this was a new and exciting adventure, with an interesting Enlightenment theme of 'how to live'. Going out on Fridays is always challenging, and staying awake requires caffeine, but it does make the weekend seem longer. And this is a long weekend already...

felt bear

On the same theme, of how to live, I just started reading The Wonderbox: Curious histories of how to live, by Roman Krznaric, having recently finished and loved How to be a Woman by Caitlin Moran, wow, finally a funny (hilarious) book about feminism, how very cool...

hibiscus

And felting moth-eaten jumpers, making a felt bear and starting to draw again...

pears

In another week or so, I should have completed most of my marking, and will have a brief and longed-for fortnight's respite, until starting my placement on 9th July. In the middle of which, I am doing a weekend of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) training. Meanwhile, distracting myself by baking two demi-vegan chocolate desserts in two days - which equals one vegan and one not so much vegan chocolate dessert - yum.

Goma: Contemporary Women Artists Exhibition

Its winter, the weather is foul, exams are looming for J and S, and its not worth being outside, so I am making the most of being in, knitting, watching tv and old movies. We saw Saturday Night Fever the other night, what a great film, not just about disco, but also, getting out of poverty/Brooklyn/anywhere you feel trapped. And again, the theme is how to live. Perhaps this is what it (art, culture) is actually all about.

wonderful crocheted 

phone holder by Biddy Bags

more later.