Numero uno: Family

Collage: what is your next life?

To me, this image captures some sense of personal exuberance, as well as trying to reflect some balance, between dark and light, and about home, family and introspection. As promised in my last post, I am starting a review of the thirteen original 'doing what matters' areas of focus of this blog.  The first one, appropriately enough, is family.

1. Family

'My aim is to spend more time doing family things'. That is what I wrote two years ago in this blog: 'balancing acts' on January 30, 2011. Having just spent the last two days doing family christmas stuff, albeit mainly focused on food, it feels like this aim has been met, at least in the last two days! 

Ironically, in terms of immediate family, having a growing teenager in the house, actually means spending less time together over time, as he becomes more autonomous. having all spent the day together yesterday eating, and playing Balderdash, (which is like the ancient BBC program Call my Bluff), we are all choosing to spend today apart (whilst still being in the same house). Like some sort of preparation for empty nest syndrome? Apart from the driving practice, that is. Its hard making up those hours! And my older son moved out of home some time ago, but we see him reasonably often, which feels fine, too. I think it now comes down to quality, not quantity, of time, even though its a bit of a cliche.

Broader family get togethers are less frequent these days, possibly for the same reason, as well as general busyness, although I just (last week) had a visit from my 'youngest' (of the sibship) brother, who lives in Melbourne, and, who posed an interesting dilemma: namely, his request to see everyone in small groups, rather than en masse. It went pretty well, until he was unfortunately called home in an emergency, which cut the visit short, but it was interesting to reflect on his request. 

Like him, I can find large get togethers fairly overwhelming. And I know now, that is to do with having introvert tendencies, which is ok. Really. I think I mentioned reading Quiet, the power of introverts by Susan Cain, earlier this year. And yes, it would be one of my best books of the year. If I had a list. (I'm not making any more rash promises, but you never know...). 

Speaking of books, my brother left Ian McEwan's novel Solar here, as well as his Christmas presents, which I finished yesterday. Another benefit of families: book recommendations. And sometimes, actual books! I had wanted to read it for a while, as its topic is climate change, which is a clumsy link to my next paragraph, as my sister (from sibship no. 2) is a climate scientist. Obviously, a much nicer and more ethical one than the antihero of this book!

And yes, when it comes to the extended family overseas, it is often harder to feel connected, although catching up on Skype, like we did the other day, when it works, can be great! Especially when we are not in 'opposite' time zones. 

Its such a cliche, I know, to say that christmas is a family time. Especially when it (christmas, not family) seems almost devoid of other virtues, and is centred around immoderate consumption, on so many levels. But often, cliches hold a grain of truth in them. Just having time, for once, seems enough.

So thats one ticked off. Twelve more days to go.

more later.