Should 'hate' be banned?

Someone told me the other day that they have banned the word 'hate' in their household - and what did I think?

This caught me my surprise, and I had to think on my feet, but I ended up saying 'hate' is just a word, it describes a feeling, and all feelings are ok.  Its hard enough for children to talk about their feelings, without having to navigate the parental  equivalent of political correctness. Which, confusingly,  I generally believe to be a good thing, and now there is proof that it works, as Oliver Burkeman reports.

Its actions, not feelings, we should be worried about. But is saying 'I hate you' an aggressive act? Is 'hate' even a feeling, or a thought? And can I express how I feel, when I am angry, without being verbally aggressive? Non-violent language tries to address this, but it can be challenging at times. I had another incident like this this morning, of getting 'lost' on my bike...no bike throwing occurred this time, but S and I lost each other again, and I had no phone, keys or money, again.

Meanwhile, we are in the middle of enjoying a fantastic British Film Festival, at the Palace cinemas, this weekend: we saw Testament of Youth last night, in which Vera Brittain, who became a pacifist, bravely speaks out against post-war sanctions on Germany, after losing her fiance, her brother, and other friends in the First World War. The more things change, the more they seem to stay the same.

Other festival films we have seen include Jimmy's Hall, Mr Turner and the Love Punch, with one more today, What we did on our Holidays. I am also keen on the Imitation game, but may be running out of cinema stamina, although being indoors and eating ice cream seems very sensible in this heat. Record* high temperatures of 40 degrees and above are anticipated today.

 

Brisbane is currently hosting the G20. Twenty five years after the collapse of the Berlin Wall,  Brisbane is like a police state this weekend. with wall to wall cops and prison vans. The city is otherwise deserted.

The highlight of G20 yesterday was Obama's speech at University of Queensland, which clearly called for action on climate change, amongst other things. Tony Abbott's insistence that 'Coal is good for humanity' is seriously being challenged.  Finally. By an American president. Who would have thought?

more later

*for November - its still only Spring...

What I love (and hate) about Australia - 2 lists, 25 years today!

We arrived in Oz 25 years ago today. So here are 25 things I love about Australia, not in any particular order:

1. Frequent sunshine
2. The great outdoors - spectacular scenery and a healthy lifestyle
3. Amazing produce, and excellent food in (some) restaurants and cafes
4. Space - room to breathe
5. Wildlife
6. The beach
7. Plants, from native orchids to flowering trees, like poincianas, jacarandas and frangipanis
8.  Shaun Micallef's Mad as Hell
9. Matthew Evans' Gourmet Farmer
10. Gardening Australia
11. Mangoes, lychees and other tropical fruit (but especially mangoes)
12. Rainforest
13. Tasmania 
14. Proximity to New Zealand and Asia
15. Denise Scott, Wendy Harmer, Julia Zemiro and Judith Lucy - and all the other women who make me laugh
16. No longer having to pay a mortgage in London
17. Really good coffee
18. Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
19. Birth Centre at the Royal Brisbane and Women's Hospital, where J was born
20. Aboriginal art and culture, and Aboriginal people's relationship to the land
21. Laughing Lotus Yoga - simultaneously nurturing and challenging classes
22. Food Connect - veggie box scheme sustainably connecting farmers and consumers
23. Higher Education - UQ for establishing an art therapy program, and QUT, for teaching me to be a social worker, when it was still affordable.
24. Friends, new and old
25. Family - both near and far

 

And then there is the not so good...

1.  Immigration policies - see #4 above - we have lots of room to spare
2. (Lack of) climate change policies in current government
3. Car culture, poor public transport
4. Hideous pubs
5. High levels of domestic violence
6. 'Casual' racism and sexism
7. Nowhere near Europe or UK
8. Dependency on coal mining and other fossil fuel
9. Very hot days
10. Commercial TV, truly trashy

more later

October is the purplest month - and a significant anniversary approaches

Why Purple? When I first arrived in Australia, my first job was working at St Lucia, University of Queensland's main campus, processing student enrolments - paper ones! That was 25 years ago next month. I think we missed the best of the jacarandas that year, but the following year was amazing.

In October, jacaranda trees were flowering all over the place, signalling the arrival of spring and - exams! I learnt that this association was strong for those who grew up here, as it meant that the end of the academic year was approaching.

And, yes, jacaranda time means exams, for some and for me, marking...and graduation of our Masters of Mental Health Art Therapy students. At UQ - small world.

My previous experience of jacarandas, was the Jacaranda Garden Cafe in Brixton, London, where I used to live - now Craft Beer, apparently.

Some more slightly purple artwork.

This time last year, I was stressed out by jacaranda time. I was just finishing my Masters of Social Work. I have (as a result) been working full time since March, and feeling stressed in a different way. No assignments, yay, just adjusting to spending more time at work, and having to ignore the garden, blogging, and other creative pursuits most of the time. In a way, this is harder, as there is no 'end' in sight - life (unless you are a teacher) does not come packaged in semester-sized chunks - so noticing the great (big and small) stuff everyday is more important than ever.

Remembering to be grateful, I am appreciating my TOIL day off today, anticipating being on holiday in Tasmania soon, (first holiday without children, as they both are now officially adults) and listening to music (a mix tape, almost!) for this year's Woodford Folk Festival.

I enjoy reading anything by Michael Nobbs, because he writes about how to still be creative with less time or energy available. Michael reminds me to notice the creative milestones, which signify progress towards our small achievements.For me, this is almost 4 years of (fairly regular) blogging, since December 2010. 170 posts, which is over 40 a year. And almost 14,000 views. 

In this new phase of life -  I need to remember that maintaining good self-care is still very important. Eating well, sleeping well, keeping fit and staying connected. Noticing the good stuff. And of course, regularly celebrating milestones.

more later

TV, the brain and being sick.

I made a commitment in my last post to continue to blog more regularly - why? Well, I enjoy it. I also think its good for me, as it makes me write, and reflect! And I miss it when I don't do it. Three (four?) reasons right there...

So anyway, I have been sick and staying home for the last five days so have been watching some TV...

I have been appreciating the ABC TV documentary The War that Changed us, about the First World War. (Thanks Philip Adams for alerting me to this on Twitter.) Its content is mainly derived from letters and diaries, as well as historical reenactments of real events, which provide very personal stories of the horrors of WW1, including Gallipoli, trench warfare, and the unfathomable levels of death and injuries, both physical and emotional.Its very moving, and the singing is amazing. It brings the emotions to the fore so effectively.Hard to believe so many men volunteered to go to war. Unthinkable now, its only a small minority who would choose to go...

Australian Story this week featured a young man who caught a rare and hard to treat form of TB overseas, and had to spend many months in isolation, just like the days before antibiotics. He started making You Tube videos about his illness, often involving rapping. Which is kind of similar to how art therapy was developed by Adrian Hill, when he was recovering from TB in a Sanatorium in the 1930's in Britain. The inherent need to be creative (when sick or bored).

Creating a verbal narrative is also supposed to help us to heal from trauma. I went to the Childhood Trauma conference in Melbourne last month, hosted by the Australian Childhood Foundation. Big international stars like Dan Hughes, Pat Ogden, Dan Siegel, Allan Schore and Kim Golding were there. I particularly enjoyed the animated Dan Hughes, and Pat Ogden, who talks about Sensori-motor Psychotherapy.

Interpersonal neurobiology is so interesting, and so affirming of right brain therapies like expressive (arts) therapies. Needless to say, I have a few books on order since the conference. Last week I went to a two day workshop on the Social Brain, by Dr Pieter Roussow. Its the second workshop of his I have attended in the last few months. Its starting to make a lot of sense, although I struggle with the science.

Oven G/Love

There have been a couple of TV shows on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) recently, on ABC (Extreme Boot Camp) and SBS. The SBS Insight program talked to people with OCD, and outlined how it was much more serious than people who jokingly say they have it can probably imagine. Its more than having to have the same coloured pegs on your laundry. Its more like believing that if you don't do a whole lot of time consuming rituals, someone you love will die.

The neurobiology of mental illness is a new science; its not been generally integrated into psychology or psychiatry yet, and so, unsurprisingly, it was not mentioned on the Insight program. According to neuropsychotherapist Dr Pieter Rossouw, all mental illness probably stems from unhelpful 'avoid patterns', created through interaction withe our environment, rather than 'chemical imbalances in the brain', AKA the soup theory of neurobiology.

The brain gets stuck in a neural loop, based on avoidance of unpleasantness and pain. In neurobiological terms, the rituals and behaviours in OCD sufferers stem from, and then reinforce, neurological patterns that build up over time - neurons that fire together, wire together - which is why it can often get worse without help. Like depression and other forms of anxiety.

Hopefully, this explanation kind of makes sense. Meanwhile, as I said, I have been off sick from work with the flu. In my cotton woolly mental stupor I have been sewing (see counted cross stitch above - will eventually be a rabbit in a dress) and visiting Shiny Happy World for quilting tutorials. I wish Shiny Happy World really existed. Its such a cool website. I learnt a new stitch on my sewing machine today, from one of the tutes. The stitch with small and large zigzags, like a stat chart or a heart monitor! Great for applique.

thats me done for today.
more later

A community-focused rainy weekend

 

I am challenging myself to rediscover my blogging habit and this starts now!

So, the weekend involved FOUR community events. 

On Friday night, a group of art therapists (and UQ graduates) had their annual art exhibition opening in Paddington, at the Percolator Gallery.

On Saturday we visited the Coopers Plains Library, reopened after  extensive renovations, including the pencil posts, below....

 

And this surprising ceiling picnic in the kids area, above - too bad mine are all grown up.

Then we went to Annerley Uncovered, another community event in a nearby suburb, and ended up working on the barbecue, in the rain, for an hour or so.

Cycling between rain showers on Sunday morning, we found a mandala in the Botanic Gardens, and an almost deserted Goodwill Bridge for coffee.

Later on Sunday there was the Picnic in the Park to Save our Salisbury Parklands from property development.

Its been a whirlwind weekend, phew!

more later

gratitude, brains and bike number three

ACT* in a nutshell

With an increasingly long time between posts, I'm feeling more stuck about what to write, as so much has happened. Did the whole of June just go by?

I'm still having a big adjustment to working full time, in the same place, with the same people, five days a week. I'm already bored with myself saying this. I'm not sure if I'm working harder, but the consistency makes it seems so, and experiencing the team dynamics is challenging, at times. On the plus side, its helping me to get acclimatised more quickly than if I was there less often.

Today is a TOIL (Time Off In Lieu) day, which I am grateful for. And today I'm going to think about gratitude, which is a core component of positive psychology. Recently a good and long term friend of ours, Perry Else, died unexpectedly. He was a Professor of Play at Sheffield Hallam University, UK, which is just about the best job title you could have. Perry was indeed a kind, creative and playful man, and his death in his fifties is shocking. He speaks about his illness here, just three months before he died.

Being grateful for just being alive, then, seems a good place to start. And some other things, in a list, for brevity, in no particular order.

1. Dr Pieter Rossouw, another professor, who gives amazing workshops on neuroscience, trauma and psychotherapy. This is his website.
2. Good Vibrations, a fantastic new movie about man, Terri Hooley, who opened a music shop in Belfast during 'the troubles', and who embraced punk rock in the late 1970's. Made me feel like I'd live through a significant part of recent history, even though I was in Essex and London, not Belfast. The best line: 'New York had the haircuts, London had the trousers, but Belfast had the reason' (to appreciate the ethos of punk). So true.
3. Eat Street Markets. Maybe not the most gourmet experience, but a (high carb) dinner of empanadas, BBQ pork steamed dumplings, Japanese 'pizza', Okonomikake, and lime and coconut gelati would be hard to organise elsewhere. Makes me realise how much Brisbane has changed in the (almost) 25 years we have lived here.
4. Family - for everything, really. Just discovered some new relatives, this seems to happen to me fairly regularly. This time, we share the same (Irish) great grandmother, and our grandmothers were sisters. As usual, the reason we don't know each other is historical feuding, probably around something someone found shameful. At the time. Amazing.
5. Spin class, 6am, Mondays and Wednesdays, despite being given bike no 3 last week, which is the one that makes a loud ratchet noise when you stand up.And despite another annoying instructor, who turned my gears up without my permission...
6. Winter sunshine. And the Sunshine Coast.
7. Food Connect, which had a film night last week: the films were not really for a general audience, being about Latin American soil chemistry (well timed for the World Cup bandwagon, perhaps?), but the food was great. So was the ambiance, with over 100 people in the packing shed on a cold winters night, eating pulled pork rolls with red cabbage, yum... 
8. Supervision with my art therapy colleagues, much appreciated last night. Thank you.

 holding on tightly to something precious

1. Meditation
2. Sourdough

(Numbers restarted)

I have to go to work now. More later. Probably much later.

* Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

the courage to feel: sewing, and birds

 e for emotion: quilted fabric on card

I must write a hundred blog posts in my mind to each one I actually publish, these days. The next four weeks will be really busy, and then hopefully July a bit less so. But enough of the excuses. An interesting article on being really busy here...

from little things - fabric applique

I made this last weekend, which is a good reminder to me that I can make something quickly (and well) when I try. The applique, which still has some tacking in it, was made for our 10 year celebration of Masters of Mental Health - Art Therapy at the University of
Queensland, which we are hanging next week. And speaking of trees, I think this one needs a bird. I knew it wasn't quite finished...

Two movies about powerful emotions, and birds: 

Healing is a beautiful movie about, well, healing. A grownup Kes (1969) for the modern age, perhaps? It really is about the courage to feel, and the power of relationships, both personal and professional. The amazing Don Hany stars as an Iranian man in jail in Victoria, who finds his way back to life (no pun intended) with the help of Hugo Weaving's prison officer and an eagle called Yasmin. This movie may not be in cinemas much longer, as its showing at midday, never a good sign. It deserves better.

Broken Circle Breakdown is a Belgian movie about loss and grief, and country music. Its very sad, but as someone once said, grief is its own medicine, if you hang in there. There is a wonderful and powerful section of this movie about a child and a dead bird, which resonated with this blog post

- sometimes children just get it.

I could go on, but I should feed my birds (chooks), and dog, and go to work. 

More later.